Stella Says... Freddie, This is How to Get Your Groove Back!

(Originally published in the Kaieteur News on 18 Sept 2005)

It seems so many people are losing their groove these days. Since sweet and sensitive Freddie was so kind to caution me about how Guyana politics could cause me to lose my groove, it seems that other political junkies have been losing their groove left and right.

Cheddi Jagan lost his groove, Jerome Khan lost his groove and even the WPA seems to have lost its groove. I even heard through the grapevine (Peeping Tom’s column last Monday) that the ever-groovy Freddie Kissoon has lost his groove too. This is most certainly a national crisis!

If everyone keeps losing their groove, there will be no one left to dance - and dancing is the one thing the Jagdeo administration has thus far left unscathed in its quest for complete national control. Maybe the reason for this conspicuous omission in the pursuit of domination is because they haven’t yet realised just how important a good groove is to a nation. Then again, they still haven’t figured out very much of what is good for a nation at all. Now, back to my groove thing.

So Freddie, in the spirit of all good groovers worldwide, I am going to graciously share some of my secrets on how to sustain a healthy and vibrant groove. It all starts balance. You see, if one cannot maintain balance, there is no way you can groove.

Balance is the key element to all of life’s quirky little issues. In order to have a ying, then one must also find the yang. For example, if a groovy person decides one political party is in need of a good tongue-lashing for being puppets of backroom politics, then it is only right to dole out the same manner of reprimand to the opposition for being spineless and complacent.

Rhythm is also very important when you are in the groove. Can you imagine someone trying to groove without rhythm? Yikes! It’s just not a pretty picture. Where does one find rhythm? Quite honestly, you have to be born with it.

Rhythm is the ability to move with the beat of life. When life goes down, you know how to get down too. When life is up, you’re dancing on the ceiling. Almost everyone can groove to a slow beat, but when the pace of life quickens up, most people can’t follow. You have to keep step with the beat or you can lose your groove very quickly.

That said, I acknowledge that it is sometimes difficult to groove when standing next to someone who has lost their groove. But no matter how tricky it is, it would be wrong to find a new dance partner. This is the most important rule with groovy people.

It’s important to understand that it is so hard to find your groove when you can’t even find your next meal or when you son was just gunned down by some druggie who was trying to get at another druggie. Who feels like grooving with your children are wearing rags to school? No wonder so many people are losing their groove in Guyana.

This is when we take that person’s hand and help them find their balance and rhythm in life again. Before long, they are back in the groove and we are all grooving together again. Well, until the government reads this and realises they need to control the people’s dancing too. Maybe that is why they forced their man into the UG, they want to keep an eye on all those college students who know how to groove.

There is one more thing you should know, Freddie, if you want to be the grooviest of all. You have to realise that everyone else is groovy too – in their own unique ways. Well, except for all those self-seeking politicians. Don’t waste your time trying to help them find their groove - since one cannot possibly get back a groove never existed in the first place.

Just know that although grooving is so much fun, it can also be exhausting. Therefore, one must stay in shape. So make sure you get your work out in today, Freddie…so you can keep up.