tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166116232024-03-07T03:16:52.633-05:00The Guyana GrooveStella Ramsaroop - Columnist for Stabroek News & Women's AdvocateStellar1http://www.blogger.com/profile/17845405826107481259noreply@blogger.comBlogger512125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-54482158633224442392012-10-15T07:25:00.003-04:002012-10-15T07:25:36.258-04:00A better way for justice<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/10/06/a-better-way-for-justice/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 6 October 2012)</i></span></div>
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If I had a wish for Domestic Violence Month, it would be that every female victim of this beastly crime would garner enough courage and foresight to testify against her offender. Sadly, that is not the case and many offenders walk away with a smirk on their face ready to abuse again.</div>
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There are many reasons victims of domestic violence do not testify against their abusers. Some women are financially dependent upon the man and it is difficult for these women to see a way to support themselves and their children without the man and they often choose to continue with the abusive relationship so there is food on the table and a roof overhead.</div>
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Some women do not testify against the offender because they truly believe the offender can and will change. There is a sincere love for the man and they disbelieve that a man they love could be so<span id="more-206899"></span> cruel, that is until the next violent episode. He will beg for forgiveness, bring flowers or gifts and tell her how much he loves her. Everything is just fine, until it isn’t and she is once again bruised, bleeding or dead.</div>
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Other women do not testify because of terror. These women have no pretty delusions that everything will be fine, they know firsthand just how deadly the offender can be. They have seen it firsthand. They have felt it on their body and seen it in the abuser’s eye. This victim also knows that if they testify and the offender still goes free (as happens frequently), she will pay a hefty price for her testimony and perhaps the ultimate price.</div>
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It is for these reasons and many more that victims of domestic violence do not testify against the offender. Sadly, the end result is more abuse and sometimes death. There simply has to be a better way to pursue the domestic violence offenders.</div>
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I have mentioned before that it is vital for the laws on Guyana to change to facilitate the prosecution of domestic violence cases without the need for the victim’s testimony. There is evidence-based prosecution, which refers to a collection of techniques utilised by prosecutors in domestic violence cases to convict abusers without the cooperation of an alleged victim. It is widely practiced within the American legal system by specialized prosecutors and state’s attorneys and relies on utilising a variety of evidence to prove the guilt of an abuser with limited or adverse participation by the abuser’s victim, or even no participation at all.</div>
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According to Wikipedia, “Prosecutors managing [domestic violence] cases face a constant problem of victims who are unable or unwilling to cooperate with prosecution…</div>
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Evidence-based prosecution arose from the desire to prosecute individuals in domestic violence cases either without placing pressure on the victim to cooperate when she or he might face retaliation or other dangers from doing so, or when such pressure is applied but ineffective. It was first used in the 1980s, but did not become widespread until the 1990s. By 2004, it was actually preferred by some prosecutors, who reported higher conviction rates without victim cooperation than with it. As of 2010, the use of evidence-based prosecution is strongly encouraged, if not mandated, for agencies receiving federal funding through the STOP Violence Against Women Act.”</div>
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Evidence-based prosecution uses 911 call recordings and transcripts, child witness statements, neighbour witness statements, medical records, paramedic log sheets, prior police reports, restraining orders, booking records, letters from the suspect, videotaped/audio taped interviews with the victim and the defendants’ statements.</div>
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Let me provide a clear-cut case that could have been prosecuted using evidence-based prosecution. This is a story from August of 2011 as provided by a series of Stabroek News articles; a mother of four was allegedly shot twice in the shoulder by her husband during an argument at their Prashad Nagar home. The woman’s sister, who lived in the bottom flat of the couple’s home, said she heard gunshots, followed by strange noises and talking just after 2 am. As the man was leaving, the sister went out to him and asked what had happened. She said, “He seh ‘gurl ah gon tell you the truth… ah just shoot yuh sister.”</div>
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The woman was taken to the hospital. After being in hiding for most of that day, the man returned to the house in the company of several men.</div>
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He collected some of his belongings and reportedly informed his children that he was going to jail. The man then turned himself over to police at the Kitty Police Station. He also turned over the firearm he is believed to have used in the shooting.</div>
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After all of that, the police would not even initially lay charges against the man without a statement from the victim, who was in the hospital nursing the gunshot wounds. Police finally arrested him and then released him saying the victim refused to give investigators a statement about the incident. Of course she refused! She was terrified for her life! The man shot her!</div>
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On August 24, the man was placed on $10,000 bail after being arraigned for discharging a firearm within 100 yards of a public way. Note that he was not charged with attempted murder of his wife or even for causing bodily harm.</div>
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It is not clear what eventually became of this case, but I do know that this case had plenty of evidence to prosecute the offender without the victim’s testimony. He allegedly confessed to the victim’s sister, he told his children he was going to jail and he turned himself into police – with the gun he used to shoot the victim.</div>
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And this is just the evidence known to the public, there would most certainly have been more, such as linking the bullets in the gun to the bullets taken from the victim’s wounds and gun powder residue on the man. Is this man in jail or is he walking free because the laws are inadequate to protect the women of the nation?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-39744215589469255372012-10-15T07:23:00.000-04:002012-10-15T07:23:03.673-04:00Join the ‘Badass Sisterhood’<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/09/29/205822/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 29 September 2012)</i></span></div>
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There are reports of groups of women in Northern India that visit abusive husbands and beat them up with bamboo sticks unless they stop abusing their wives. After Guyana has yet another brutal murder of a woman and her two children by her partner, the formation of such a group sounds refreshing.</div>
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In India, much like Guyana, it is difficult to get law enforcement to take domestic violence seriously. So these women, who are called “The Gulabi Gang” (translated as ‘pink gang’ from Hindi) because of the pink saris worn by its members, <span id="more-205822"></span>took it upon themselves to protect the women.</div>
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Sampat Pal, a mother of five and former government health worker (and a former child bride) formed the group in 2006. The group is made up of women vigilantes and activists originally from Banda in Bundelkhand district, Uttar Pradesh, India, but reported to be active across North India as of 2010.</div>
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In 2008, they even stormed an electricity office in Banda district and forced officials to turn back on the power they had cut in order to extract bribes. They have also stopped child marriages and protested dowry and female illiteracy. This is one ‘Badass Sisterhood,’ as it has become known on the Internet where this story has been viral for months now.</div>
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After reading about the woman who was murdered this past week by her partner, I then read this quote on Facebook, “A woman needs a man to protect her like a daughter, love her like a wife and respect her like his mother.” I know the woman who posted this quote thought it wise, but I was upset by it.</div>
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Why does a woman need to be protected? So that men do not hurt her, right? Which means we are expecting men to protect us from men. What, then, happens when those men who are to be protectors become the ones from whom women need to be protected? We know what happens. Women die.</div>
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This logic was quite evident even to Susan B. Anthony who lived in a time of so-called gentlemen when she said, “I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand.”</div>
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Can women escape from men? Tradition holds that women need to be protected, so they must have a man in their lives. However, as reality has sadly proven time and again, it is from those very men that women need the most protection. As a result, if men do not “protect” women, and law enforcement does not protect women, are women to just cower in the corner and wait to be demeaned, raped, beaten and to eventually die at the hands of the man who says he loves her?</div>
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Hell, no! The Pink Sari women in India have found the answer. They have taken it upon themselves to protect the women and children. Roseanne Barr once said, “The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.” The women of the Pink Saris have learned this lesson, they have taken control of the situation and they now have the power women should have had all along.</div>
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Sampat Pal named the group the Pink Saris Gang to show, “’Pink’ for women, ‘Gang’ for not being submissive!” (You can find out more about the Pink Saris at http://www.gulabigang.org) This is not a woman to mess with. I wish all women would come to a point where they realise how important it is to protect themselves and to stop relying on a man to protect them.</div>
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I would love to see a group like this rise up in Guyana to stop the onslaught of violence and murders against the women. There are now classes that teach women self-defence lessons using martial arts. I encourage women to sign up for these classes and start fighting back against those who would rape, beat and murder them.</div>
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A new survey released in the U.S, entitled The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/NISVS/index.html) details the extent and effects of male violence against women:</div>
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· More than half (51.1%) of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner and 40.8% by an acquaintance.</div>
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· Across all types of violence, the majority of female victims reported that their perpetrators were male. Male rape victims and male victims of non-contact unwanted sexual experiences reported predominantly male perpetrators.</div>
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· For female rape victims, 98.1% reported only male perpetrators. Additionally, 92.5% of female victims of sexual violence other than rape reported only male perpetrators. For male victims, the sex of the perpetrator varied by the type of sexual violence experienced. The majority of male rape victims (93.3%) reported only male perpetrators.</div>
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The violence against women will not stop until women make it stop. I am not suggesting that women become the violent creatures that some men have become. However, I am saying that it is time for women to take a stand and put an end to the violence against women ourselves. It is time to fight back.</div>
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I read this statement on a feminist blog recently, “Women are at most danger from the men nearest and dearest to them. Female children are sexually abused by family members, usually a father, uncle or brother. Women are more likely to be murdered by their husband than by an unknown man, and men annihilate their families with frightening regularity. Similarly, if a male friend offers to walk a woman home ‘to protect her,’ she is more likely to be raped by him than a passerby.”</div>
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It is time to put aside all that nonsense about being “lady-like” and “sweet” women and pick up some bamboo sticks to fight off that man who is beating that Sister who lives next door. It is time to be brave and strong. It is time to be badass women. It is time to fight for our lives, Sisters!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-27602189636472831052012-09-30T09:32:00.002-04:002012-09-30T09:32:36.328-04:00Leave him<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/09/22/leave-him/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 22 September 2012)</i></span></div>
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This week, a wife went to court for throwing the spectacles of another woman into a trench because her husband was rubbing the other woman’s face. Any woman on the face of this planet can sympathise with this wife’s feelings of pain, betrayal and disrespect after seeing what her husband was doing with another woman in public.</div>
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Let’s face it; if a man is rubbing the face of another woman in public, he is probably doing much more behind closed doors. A woman is better off without such a man. He will cause her nothing but more hurt and pain if she does not leave him. Yet still, in this story, by tossing the other woman’s glasses into the trench it was the wife who ended up being arrested and in court.</div>
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Sisters, we have got to be smarter than to be the one who ends up in court while the cheating man walks away with a smirk on his face. The victim in this scenario was the wife, yet because of<span id="more-204841"></span> the way she reacted, she was the one who was placed before a judge. She should have just walked away and kept walking far away from that man.</div>
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There is a Facebook group called Guyanese Sisters. This is a place on the Internet where the women of Guyana (no men allowed) can gather and talk about women’s issues without the input of men.</div>
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On Tuesday, one Sister posted the following:</div>
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<em>Dear Sisters,</em></div>
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<em>I feel sad. As I await the finalization of my divorce I bump into women who [have been] involved my husband and whom he probably still sees on a regular basis. However, when I see these women all I can think of is how much I despise them and him. They are young, in-experienced and don’t give a damn about who they hurt or their actions. This makes me extremely angry! I try consoling myself by reminding myself that I know better and that I have control over how I feel and while some days this works other days it doesn’t. I know we all make mistakes but surely, these younger women must be from a different species altogether. They just don’t give a damn; in fact, they are even more confrontational than ever about their non-positions with these married men. I try to forgive them and my husband, but I can’t, at least not now. All I can think of doing is throttling him and them for causing me so much grief, but I know they aren’t worth it. It seems I have lost my faith in trusting men and generally think ill of all if not most of them. I don’t know if men like him will ever change or young women like these will ever grow up as some if not most seem contented in their ignorance. However, soon he will no longer be my responsibility and though I care for him I have to think of myself.</em></div>
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I know this woman personally and she is beautiful, smart and very interesting. She also likes to help others. It is beyond me how her husband could write off all of these amazing qualities for lesser choices. Yet in the midst of such pain and betrayal this Sister has shown remarkable restraint – further demonstrating her wisdom and maturity. In a world of immediate gratification, and in the midst of such obvious pain, this Sister has given us an example of how to react to the immense pain that comes from the betrayal of a husband/lover.</div>
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While it is true that women do not typically go around killing others because of the hurt caused by a cheating husband, we have seen this week that even something as innocuous as tossing the other woman’s glasses in a trench and walking away can put a woman in deep trouble.</div>
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Sisters, don’t react by doing things like this that land you in trouble. It is not worth it. Just walk away from the whole situation – and far away from that man – and create a better life for yourself. Create a life that is full of joy and contentment, a life that is fulfilling and does not stress you out.</div>
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They say that a tiger cannot change his stripes, and while that old adage of “once a cheater, always a cheater” might be true, that does not mean that a woman must stick around to be dragged through all the dirt and grime.</div>
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Sisters, do not let a cheating man push you to be something you are not. If you are not a suspicious and jealous woman by nature, do not let a man’s cheating ways force you to change to be anything less than the beautiful person you already are.</div>
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I have watched as kind and gentle women are transformed into monsters by the actions of cheating husbands. The emotional and psychological impact on the woman caused by the betrayal and the pain is so great that it forces her to say and do things she would have never dreamed of before.</div>
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As the woman fights for the relationship, as she tries with everything in her to make him happy – not understanding that she will never reach that goal – she compromises herself over and over in desperation to be what he wants. And when all her attempts to make him happy fail, her desperation turns to rage and a desire for revenge – but this again is a futile endeavour that will end badly, more so for her than anyone else.</div>
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In the end, the cheating husband has pushed the woman to the brink of insanity and moral poverty and then shakes his head in disgust at what he himself created. Sister, do not let a cheater do this to you. Walk away from the very beginning, from the very first time. Walk away and never look back.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-32688487099107466432012-09-22T10:13:00.001-04:002012-09-22T10:14:16.629-04:00The end of men<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/09/08/she-will-not-shut-up/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 15 September 2012)</i></span></div>
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There has been much buzz this week about a new book, entitled “The End of Men and the Rise of Women,” by Hanna Rosin. The book, based on her very popular 2010 Atlantic cover story, “The End of Men,” explores the much talked about predicament of why men, who have for millennia dominated every aspect of the human experience (except birthing a child), are now in large part failing to adjust in a society where women are thriving.</div>
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In a September 10 column on Rosin’s book, titled “Why Men are Fail,” New York Times writer David Brooks illustrated the dire situation men find themselves in: “In elementary and high school, male academic performance is lagging. Boys earn three-quarters of the D’s and F’s. By college, men are clearly behind. Only 40 percent of bachelor’s degrees go to men, along with 40 percent of master’s degrees. Thanks to their lower skills, men are dropping out of the labor force. In 1954, 96 percent of the American men between the ages of 25 and 54 worked. Today, that number is down to 80 percent. In Friday’s jobs report, <span id="more-203818"></span>male labor force participation reached an all-time low.”</div>
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The article said Rosin argues that women “…are like immigrants who have moved to a new country. They see a new social context, and they flexibly adapt to new circumstances. Men are like immigrants who have physically moved to a new country but who have kept their minds in the old one. They speak the old language. They follow the old mores. Men are more likely to be rigid; women are more fluid.”</div>
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And while some may say that it is just how men are and they cannot help themselves, the article said Rosin’s books posits, “This theory has less to do with innate traits and more to do with social position. When there’s big social change, the people who were on the top of the old order are bound to cling to the old ways. The people who were on the bottom are bound to experience a burst of energy. They’re going to explore their new surroundings more enthusiastically.”</div>
<a name='more'></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I have long spoken about how men seem to have checked out on life lately and have on numerous occasions written on the need for men to find a way to adjust to this new social structure that includes women in business, religion, politics, education and every other aspect.</span><br />
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In September of 2010, Kaieteur News Editor, Adam Harris, asked me why I thought the institution of marriage is becoming obsolete. I wrote a column in response to his question entitled, “Why women do not want to get married anymore.”</div>
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This was my response in part:</div>
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“The better question to ask is why on earth the women in Guyana would want to get married at all. Too many Guyanese wives are beaten, chopped, burned, shot and murdered by their husbands. Too many wives are treated like slaves and expected to wait on their husband’s hand and foot. Too many of Guyana’s husbands cheat on their wives – sometimes with several other women – and the wife is expected to accept that vile situation. In short, too many wives in Guyana are incessantly subjected to physical, mental and emotional abuse.</div>
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As such, it is not surprising that Guyana’s young women are going to school, getting an education and providing for themselves. These women are driven and they are building great lives for themselves.</div>
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Why would they introduce a man into the picture who is going to beat them? Why would they subject themselves to sexually transmitted diseases (because the cheater doesn’t like to use condoms) just to have a man around? Why would they get married just so they can be treated like a slave and have one more person to cook and clean for at the end of a long day at work?</div>
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Meanwhile, more and more of Guyana’s men are dropping out of school and spending their days drinking rum instead of getting a steady job. Speaking as a woman, this entire situation is highly undesirable – and there are many women who agree with me.”</div>
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According to Brooks, Rosin touches on this phenomenon in her book, too, but from a different perspective. “Rosin reports from college campuses where women are pioneering new social arrangements. The usual story is that men are exploiting the new campus hookup culture in order to get plenty of sex without romantic commitments. Rosin argues that, in fact, women support the hookup culture. It allows them to have sex and fun without any time-consuming distractions from their careers. Like new immigrants, women are desperate to rise, and they embrace social and sexual rules that give them the freedom to focus on their professional lives.”</div>
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A September 11 Huffington Post article also addressed Rosin’s book, in an article entitled “The End of Men Is Here? 14 Signs And Consequences Of Male Decline, According To Hanna Rosin,” and explores the fact that feminine style leadership is becoming more valuable in many businesses as the communication aspect brought by female leaders promotes a better and more productive working environment.</div>
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According to the article, other consequences of the male decline is that families are now investing more in their daughters than in the sons, since it will be the girls who will have the financial capacity to help support their aging parents later on.</div>
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Rosin also notes that Asian women dominate the classroom and “have been unwilling to take on the traditional female role of the subservient homemaker, even as men continue to want wives who fit that mould. ‘In a host of Asian countries, including Korea, the new woman and the same old man have looked each other over and each has deemed the other a wholly unsuitable life partner.’”</div>
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Rosin’s book is not news to many of us. We have seen this coming and have bellyached over the situation for a while now. The only real solution I can see is for men to find a way to adjust to the new social structure – and hopefully soon. Because I can guarantee that women have no intention of going back to the dark days of inequality and dependence on men.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-66553446236044019342012-09-17T07:44:00.002-04:002012-09-17T07:44:50.204-04:00She will not shut up<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/09/08/she-will-not-shut-up/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 8 September 2012)</i></span></div>
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Last week, I wrote about local female musician Jackie Hanover, who has a song out that encourages women to be independent and to make a good life for themselves. This week, I want to highlight another local female musician who is also sending out a positive message for women.</div>
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Lucieann, from Berbice, has recently released a powerful song, entitled “I am Woman,” that speaks to the issue of domestic violence. The titular woman of the song starts out talking about how the man tells her he loves her and needs her, but yet he likes to beat her “like a drum.” But, (Woohoo, there is a “but”!) according to the song, she is woman and she is strong and she is not going to put up with the violence for long.</div>
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The woman talks about the sweet talk from the abuser, who wants to show her the type of love that will make her blush. He is just going through a hard time and she should be<span id="more-202911"></span> patient… but all she sees are swollen eyes and broken hearts. She will not shut up, she is going to lift her voice, and she is going to make some noise (honestly, women have been acquiescent and silent for far too long).</div>
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The woman continues, saying she tried to deny the truth from the start and told herself so many lies. She gave love from her soul and all he did was beat on her bones. She won’t take it anymore. Good!!</div>
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There are so many women who do not want to admit they are in a domestically violent relationship. The myriad of reasons for not wanting to face the truth could include low self-esteem (feeling as if one does not deserve better), feelings of affection toward the abuser, fear of retaliation from the abuser, social expectations to stay within the abusive relationship, financial reliance on the abuser, social expectations to accept the abuse as part of life, and the list goes on.</div>
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Are you a victim of domestic violence? Do you think that you might be, but you are unsure? Wikipedia is not an authority on domestic violence, but the following definitions from that site can provide the reader with a description adequate enough to help determine whether she is a victim of domestic violence.</div>
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Domestic violence can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviours by one or both partners in an intimate relationship, such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.</div>
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Domestic violence has many forms, including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.</div>
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Physical abuse involves contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm. Physical abuse includes hitting, slapping, punching, choking, pushing, and other types of contact that result in physical injury to the victim. Physical abuse can also include behaviours such as denying the victim medical care when needed, depriving the victim of sleep or other functions necessary to live, or forcing the victim to engage in drug/alcohol use against his/her will.</div>
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Sexual abuse is any situation in which force is used to obtain participation in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity constitutes sexual abuse.</div>
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Emotional abuse (also called psychological abuse or mental abuse) can include humiliating the victim privately or publicly, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, implicitly blackmailing the victim by harming others when the victim expresses independence or happiness, or denying the victim access to money or other basic resources and necessities. Emotional/verbal abuse is defined as any behaviour that threatens, intimidates, undermines the victim’s self-worth or self-esteem, or controls the victim’s freedom.</div>
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Verbal abuse is a form of abusive behaviour involving the use of language.</div>
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Abusers may ignore, ridicule, disrespect, and criticize others consistently; manipulate words; purposefully humiliate; falsely accuse; manipulate people to submit to undesirable behaviour; make others feel unwanted and unloved; threaten economically; place the blame and cause of the abuse on others; isolate victims from support systems; harass; demonstrate Jekyll and Hyde behaviours, either in terms of sudden rages or behavioural changes, or where there is a very different “face” shown to the outside world vs. with victim.</div>
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Economic abuse is when the abuser has control over the victim’s money and other economic resources. In its extreme (and usual) form, this involves putting the victim on a strict “allowance”, withholding money at will and forcing the victim to beg for the money until the abuser gives them some money. It is common for the victim to receive less money as the abuse continues. This also includes (but is not limited to) preventing the victim from finishing education or obtaining employment, or intentionally squandering or misusing communal resources.</div>
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If you read any portion of this passage defining domestic abuse and now recognize that you are being abused, then it is time to start making some healthy choices concerning your physical and emotional well-being. Stop using excuses to diminish the reality of the abuse, like “He only hits me when he’s drunk,” or “I made him mad and deserved it,” or “He just had a hard day,” or whatever rationale you attempt to try to justify the abuse.</div>
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Lucieann’s song boldly turns the table on the long-held way many women have dealt with the abuse in the past – by just taking the beatings until she is hospitalised, or worse, dead. However, as Lucieann’s song demonstrates, this way of thinking is changing dramatically and women are now standing up for themselves. She will not shut up.</div>
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You can watch Lucieann’s moving “I am Woman” video on YouTube. Sisters, it is important to support these female music artists who are taking a strong stand for the betterment of women. We are Sisters helping and supporting Sisters. We are a Sisterhood.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-37633807983897971572012-09-08T17:09:00.001-04:002012-09-08T17:09:27.005-04:00An anthem for all women<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/09/01/an-anthem-for-all-women/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 1 September 2012)</i></span></div>
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They say art is a reflection of society. If this is true, the local female musicians are proving that the women of this nation are on a good path. I have heard two songs from two separate female artists that show just how much the mentality of <span id="more-201945"></span>women is changing from that of brutalised victims dependent on the money of a man to that of an independent survivor who refuses to be a punching bag.</div>
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I came across the first song in July and instantly fell in love with it. Jackie Hanover both wrote the lyrics and sings the song, entitled “Ladies Anthem.” The lyrics empower and challenge women at the same. Take a look at the words of the song’s chorus:</div>
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Ah yo money buy de ford and de rover</div>
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De cute Chanel bag on yo shoulder</div>
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Cah you na beg no man fi nothin (You na beg no man nun)</div>
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No boy cyan see you out ah road</div>
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and ah pull off ya frock</div>
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Cuz him money buy it and him want it back</div>
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Cah you na beg no man fi nothin (You na beg no man nun)</div>
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These words show a new standard is forming in a society where women have been taught that it is acceptable to depend on a man for everything from food to shelter. This new standard being promoted in this song can be easily found in society. Just take a look around or talk to the women around you and it will become clear very quickly that women are deciding to take care of themselves instead of relying on a man to take care of them.</div>
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Too many women have been left in devastating positions when the man who fathered her babies runs off with another woman or drinks away the household money. Some women enter into relationships where the man insists she doesn’t get a job, but stays home to care for him and the family. However, when he leaves, she is left with no education, skills or money. Women are now choosing to protect themselves and the children by simply removing men from the equation.</div>
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Moreover, when the man is the sole money-maker, the woman is under his constant prying eye when it comes to how the money is spent. She never has the option of buying something she wants without getting his permission first. The lyrics to the first verse of Jackie’s song explore this attitude change:</div>
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Me rather work hard for meh money and spend as meh feel</div>
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No bwoy can tell me ‘deal or no deal’</div>
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Monitor meh moves, meh na have curfew</div>
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Clingy, clingy man dem a stick like glue</div>
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Some man like guard</div>
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Dem wan keep de homan ah de yard</div>
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While dem ah roll with de boys and ah have fun</div>
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Some bwoy like that, meh na want none!</div>
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Yes, things are most certainly changing. For thousands of years women have been chained to the house while men explored the world. Not anymore. And obviously, women do not need a man to protect her while she explores the world. After all, who is the man protecting her from? Men.</div>
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In Jackie’s third verse she demonstrates how decent women are rejecting the “gold-digger” types who prey on men to get their money and sell their soul in the process. Think of what these women could do with their lives if they spent all that wasted and self-destructive time and energy getting an education or being an apprentice in a field that could be a form of lifetime income.</div>
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“She wan money but she na wan work</div>
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No ambition-bition she ah lurk</div>
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Innah de club, she ah lurk innah bar</div>
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Hustle man who ah pass innah car</div>
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She can’t get a job, no qualification</div>
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She ah get thump every day, never go ah station</div>
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My girl your life ah disaster</div>
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Meh seh no man ah go be my master!”</div>
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To make things clear, as so often must be done when women take a stand for themselves, Jackie qualifies her stance in the final verse and spells it out for anyone who may want to misinterpret the intention of her song:</div>
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Now, meh know some gal, dem ah get me wrong</div>
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Na mix up de message meh ah send innah de song</div>
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If de man dem ah give, meh na tell yo decline</div>
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But you never mek him feel seh him ah yo lifeline</div>
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Young girls tek in ya education</div>
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Na rely pon ya looks fi no elevation</div>
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Housewife keep ah stash fi ah rainy day</div>
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Ya bank-book fat when him walking away</div>
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I am so proud of Jackie for putting this song out. If I had my wish, this would be an anthem for ladies all over. It is not that women must give up their relationships with men who truly love care about them, but a wise woman today will protect herself by creating a life for herself through a job of her own, a home of her own and an education.</div>
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Once a woman has made a good life for herself, she can then share that life with someone who truly loves and cares for her. Moreover, she is not forced to settle for the nearest low-life that is out to steal her smile and hold her under his thumb. However, note that sharing her life with a good man is different from that man being her life. If he ever walks, she is still standing on her own two feet (if she was wise enough to make sure he did not spend all of her money).</div>
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To listen to Jackie’s song, “Ladies Anthem,” go to http://www.reverbnation.com/jackiehanover. Let it become the anthem for all women, young and old as we redefine the role of women in society.</div>
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Next week, we will explore yet another great song by a local female artiste.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-80723366652904102172012-09-08T17:06:00.002-04:002012-09-08T17:06:31.950-04:00The War on Women in the US<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/08/25/the-war-on-women-in-the-us/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 25 August 2012)</i></span></div>
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I seldom talk about women’s issues in the United States in this column for one very important reason: there are so few columnists (if any) in Guyana who focus on the women’s issues of this country.</div>
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However, it is important to touch on the fact that this past year has seen the rights of women in the US diminished as those who would love to see a return of the “barefoot and pregnant woman” era find their way into power. People of a twisted mentality similar to that of Todd Akin – of the now infamous “legitimate rape” statement – are coming out of the proverbial woodwork.</div>
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I am going to be quite honest and say it is a scary time for women who value their rights in the US. In fact, in the last year, there has been a lot of new legislation presented and passed that<span id="more-200969"></span> restrict or rescind women’s rights, such as a woman’s right to have an abortion and women’s right to fair and equal pay.</div>
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This new breed of politicians even refused to renew the Violence Against Women Act, which provides for community violence prevention programmes and battered women’s shelters. The Act was originally passed in 1994 and has been reauthorized by Congress twice in bipartisan votes, but not this time.</div>
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I am going give my explanation of why I think this is all happening right now. I believe there are some men who have seen that women are taking their rightful place in society and it scares them. They are afraid of losing their power for the first time in thousands of years and they are scrambling to find a way to stop the women.</div>
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They are trying to create an atmosphere that would force women to have children by restricting abortion and contraception in order to push all women back into the home and out of the workplace. They are refusing to protect women who are being beat and abused in hopes that the men can beat the women back into “submission.”</div>
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In fact, the assault on women’s rights is so bad now that women’s rights advocates are calling it a “War On Women.” What these wacked-out men do not realise is that women will not be forced back into submission. As is quite obvious already, women will simply live their lives without a man if it means they will be free agents of their own lives.</div>
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It is so frustrating when someone has the nerve to say that women are already equal. There is such a long way to go to realise gender equality and, as is obvious in the last year in the US, the hard won rights of women can easily be taken away on the whim of crazy politicians.</div>
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There is something innately wrong with a bunch of old white guys deciding what happens to women’s bodies. Moreover, they do not want women to even be a part of the discussion as was evident when they decided to put together an all male panel to discuss female contraception this past February. Imagine the gall!</div>
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Common sense (i.e., a woman can’t get pregnant if she is raped??) and common decency (i.e., women should be making decisions about women’s bodies and rights) seem to escape these men. They do not even realise just how ridiculous they look to women.</div>
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They also do not seem to realise that women vote. As a matter of fact, I am moving to Missouri next week to be closer to my pregnant daughter and the rest of our family, which means I get to vote against Todd Akin – and for a woman – on Election Day, November 6.</div>
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Tomorrow is Women’s Equality Day in the US. It is a day proclaimed each year by the US President to commemorate the giving of the vote to women throughout the country on an equal basis to men. Women in the US were given the right to vote on August 26, 1920, when the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution was certified.</div>
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Here is the Joint Resolution of Congress from 1971, designating August 26 of each year as Women’s Equality Day:</div>
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WHEREAS, the women of the United States have been treated as second-class citizens and have not been entitled the full rights and privileges, public or private, legal or institutional, which are available to male citizens of the United States; and</div>
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WHEREAS, the women of the United States have united to assure that these rights and privileges are available to all citizens equally regardless of sex;</div>
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WHEREAS, the women of the United States have designated August 26, the anniversary date of the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment, as symbol of the continued fight for equal rights: and</div>
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WHEREAS, the women of United States are to be commended and supported in their organizations and activities,</div>
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NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that August 26 of each year is designated as “Women’s Equality Day,” and the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation annually in commemoration of that day in 1920, on which the women of America were first given the right to vote, and that day in 1970, on which a nationwide demonstration for women’s rights took place.</div>
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The young women of the US today really have no idea how their mothers and grandmothers fought so they could enjoy the rights they have today. Now those rights are being ripped away from the women. Yes, there will be a fight ahead for the women of the US.</div>
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But this I can guarantee, they will pry my rights and the rights of my daughters out of my cold, dead hands.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-30763959000571514422012-08-31T21:07:00.002-04:002012-08-31T21:08:02.555-04:00Why race doesn’t matter<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/08/11/why-race-doesnt-matter/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 11 August 2012)</i></span></div>
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I am writing on racism today because I have seen it in all its cruelty and ugliness too often in recent weeks. Some of the comments I have seen Guyanese make about other Guyanese are so abominable that it makes my stomach lurch. I have never had a tolerance for racism and quickly remove racists from my life if even one sentence of race hate is muttered.</div>
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What purpose does race hate serve in a society? No good purpose, that is for sure. It highlights an insignificant difference in the population in an attempt to make one race appear superior or inferior to another – much like sexism does with gender. I am writing this column to show that such differences are irrelevant to humanity and that racism is counterproductive to the positive development of the nation.</div>
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A few years ago, I read something about race that has long stuck with me. It was a passage from “When God Was A Woman” by Merlin Stone. The book is not about race, but one<span id="more-198869"></span> sentence caught me and I’ve always remembered it.</div>
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Speaking of the aggressive northern Aryan invaders, who felt themselves superior to the more civil and developed Near East inhabitants, the author said, “But historical, mythological and archaeological evidence suggest that it was these northern people who brought with them the concepts of light as good and dark as evil (very possibly the symbolism of their racial attitudes toward the darker people of the southern areas) and of a supreme male deity.”</div>
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When I read that passage, I stopped reading and chewed over the notion that perhaps it was at that point in history when racism started and subsequently continued to spread to the extent that in much of the world, a person’s skin colour became a determining factor in how much respect and freedom that person should be afforded.</div>
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For centuries, this racist ideology pervaded and permitted money hungry individuals to rip whole groups of people away from their homes in other lands and forced them live in conditions that even animals were not forced to endure. People with “darker” skin lost their culture, freedom and dignity to men who insisted they were superior because their skin was lighter.</div>
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Those men were wrong. Colour of skin is nothing more than one of many physical attributes found in humans. I recently watched a documentary, “Race – The Power of an Illusion,” (it can be found on YouTube) that explained that humans are the most similar of all species. For example, according to this film, look-alike penguins have twice the amount of genetic difference – one from another – than humans. Fruit flies have ten times more genetic differences from one fruit fly to the next. In fact, any two fruit flies may be as different genetically from each other as a human is from a chimpanzee.</div>
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Even more important to the “race” conversation, the documentary went on to say there is as much, or more, genetic difference within any racial group as there is between people of different racial groups.</div>
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The film showed DNA tests done on a group of college students who were certain their genetic make-up would be most similar to others in the group of the same race, and they were wrong every time. The students had more genetic similarities with students from other races than with students of their own race.</div>
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So what is the difference between members of different races? Nothing. In fact, a DNA test may well show any member of one race to have more genetically in common with any member of another race than within his or her own race, and vice versa.</div>
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So if we are so similar, what does cause one human to look so different from another? According to the Statement on Biological Aspects of Race by The American Association of Physical Anthropologists (AAPA), “Biological differences between human beings reflect both hereditary factors and the influence of natural and social environments. In most cases, these differences are due to the interaction of both.”</div>
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The third point in the AAPA’s Statement maintains, “There is great genetic diversity within all human populations. Pure races, in the sense of genetically homogenous populations, do not exist in the human species today, nor is there any evidence that they have ever existed in the past.” In other words, we have always shared the same genes.</div>
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The Statement continues in the sixth point, “The human features which have universal biological value for the survival of the species are not known to occur more frequently in one population than in any other. Therefore, it is meaningless from the biological point of view to attribute a general inferiority or superiority to this or to that race.”</div>
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The last point in the Statement concludes, “The genetic capacity for intellectual development is one of the biological traits of our species essential for its survival. This genetic capacity is known to differ among individuals. The peoples of the world today appear to possess equal biological potential for assimilating any human culture. Racist political doctrines find no foundation in scientific knowledge concerning modern or past human populations.”</div>
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Therefore, any biological rationalisation you have ever heard to justify racist thought and/or behaviour has been pure nonsense. It has no scientific foundation.</div>
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I have said all of this to make one point: it is time we stop focusing on our differences and focus on what we have in common, which is very much. The only difference left to cause trepidation in one group of humans concerning another is cultural. However, although this world is made up of many diverse cultures, we can also bring all of these cultures together as one cohesive culture – humanity.</div>
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I am not suggesting that any group should allow its ancestral traditions to die away. Those traditions are part of the beauty of humanity. However, adhering to those cultural traditions does not have to stop progress as a national people.</div>
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I could never thank my mother enough for raising me to reject racial hate and to embrace cultural differences. I wish persons reading these words the same immunity against meaningless racist fear. In fact, I wish this for the whole world.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-50358644157761359222012-08-19T11:58:00.002-04:002012-08-19T11:58:47.530-04:00The female Olympians<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/daily/08/04/the-female-olympians/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 4 August 2012)</i></span></div>
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I have been in sports heaven this past week. I look forward to the Olympics for one reason only: to see women athletes perform on an international stage while the world watches intently. Let’s face it; there are very few other venues by which we can watch female athletes perform.</div>
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Throughout the world on a national level, sports enthusiasts can watch male cricket, male football, male basketball, American male “football,” male baseball, male hockey, male rugby, male wrestling…male everything! I cannot think of even one example of female sports to watch at all on a national level.</div>
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Men like to think they alone are interested in sports. Like education, politics and religious leadership, they want it to be a man thing (insert caveman growl here). It seems they like the idea of being able to own <span id="more-197860"></span>this part of the human experience, too. But those men who believe women are not interested in sports are as wrong on that assumption as they were about women not being interested in education, politics, technology, religious leadership and so much more.</div>
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For example, I love sports. I love to watch sports, though not all sports. I am not a fan of any sport that involves violence. Because of my abusive childhood, I cannot watch violence of any sort without flinching. As such, sports such as American football are not appealing to me at all.</div>
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However, I am an avid baseball fan (in spite of fact that US national teams are all male). I keep up with the stats of my favourite team and love to go to games. Likewise, I have also been so excited for weeks in anticipation of the Olympics and I’ve been up at 4 am many days this past week watching the games with enthusiasm.</div>
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The final paragraph of an interesting July 29 New York Times article on the female athletes of this year’s Olympic Games caught my attention. The article, entitled “A Giant Leap for Women, but Hurdles Remain,” said, “Yet female soccer players have also gained praise for performing without the diving, theatrical writhing and complaining inherent in the men’s game. A British reader named Geoff Cooling wrote to The Daily Mail on Sunday that he had watched an entire match devoid of excessive preening and whining. ‘Was I dreaming?’ he wrote.”</div>
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I had never given this “preening and whining” much thought before watching a male volleyball match in the London games. Since men have always dominated sports teams, it is easy to just assume the theatrics are a natural part of the game. In contrast to the women I watched yesterday, the men were bellowing after spikes. There were obvious self-congratulatory gestures and yells. And there was even some open self-adulation. I turned the game off.</div>
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It was at this point that I finally realised why I like watching female athletes as opposed to males. I like the grace, disposition and focused-thought of the female athlete in contrast to the yelling, preening and aggressiveness of the male athlete. In fact, the one male-dominated sport I truly enjoy watching – baseball – is generally void of such showy aggressiveness.</div>
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Yet male sports teams dominate the national stage while female sports teams are relegated to quiet competition out of sight from the world. Male athletes are also given more credit for their athletic abilities. For example, that same New York Times article said, “Japan’s women’s soccer team is the World Cup champion. But its players were forced to fly coach, while the men’s team rode in business class, on a 13-hour flight to Paris from Tokyo before the Games.”</div>
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The male athlete is still celebrated in first class while the female athlete is hidden away in coach.</div>
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When female Chinese swimmer Ye Shiwen took gold with a time that incredibly outpaced American gold medallist Ryan Lochte’s final 50 in the men’s race by a split-second, a male US coach cried foul and accused her of doping. This was an unsubstantiated claim as Olympic officials had cleared her to participate in the games.</div>
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Yet still, in the minds of that male coach, a woman could never be as fast as a man. And yet, this year’s Olympic Games are the first that women will participate in every sport and every participating nation will have a female on their team. In 1896, when the Olympics started, women were not allowed to participate in the games. They were lucky to be “allowed” to watch.</div>
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One hundred years later, in the 1996 games in Atlanta, there were still 26 nations that did not have female athletes.</div>
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Despite the many challenges, women are starting to compete on the same level with their male counterparts. I can’t help but wonder what the Olympic Games will look like in another 100 years, when women have had a chance to push themselves as far as men have always been encouraged to.</div>
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I recently read a quote by Lois Wyse that said, “Men are taught to apologise for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.” This is true in so many ways, the least of which is when it comes to sports. The world still hides athletic women away in coach without any public national teams to encourage and celebrate their abilities. What a loss to the human race!</div>
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In the same way female intelligence has long been hidden and not celebrated, female athleticism is stuffed in a dark corner and only allowed to come out once every couple years, after which they are again stuffed in that dark corner. Women should be celebrated in all their glory and not made to feel guilty when they excel in areas previously dominated by men.</div>
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Why is it that when a woman out-performs a man, her veracity is called into question? Because it is still hard for men to believe women really are their equals. The world celebrates Michael Phelps as “The Greatest Olympian” (according to The Guardian), but refuse to celebrate a 16-year-old female athlete who has made history.</div>
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This may be the first time in Olympic history that a woman has out-performed a male gold medallist. But, mark my words, it will not be the last.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-597736995142606242012-08-19T11:55:00.002-04:002012-08-19T11:55:49.252-04:00You shouldn’t blame domestic violence for the breakdown of the family<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/07/28/you-shouldnt-blame-domestic-violence-for-the-breakdown-of-the-family/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 28 July 2012)</i></span></div>
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I have seen it stated over and over that the breakdown of the family structure is the cause of domestic violence. I have never seen it this way. In fact, I have always seen it as the exact opposite – that domestic violence is the cause of the breakdown of the traditional family structure.</div>
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The continued scourge of domestic violence has also been blamed on the loss of morals and values. Still, I cannot see this as a cause for abuse because domestic violence has existed for thousands of years. There has been no loss of morals regarding this issue, as it has been a moral issue for millennia. Even in Guyana’s brief history there is evidence of domestic violence.</div>
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Although this quote from the online Guyana Journal is focused on female Indian indentured servants, the domestic abuse issue applies to<span id="more-196676"></span> all Guyanese. The essay entitled, “Indian Women of Guyana; reflections of their existence, survival and representation,” by Janet A. Naidu, said the following:</div>
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“While Indian men suffered because of the scarcity of women and were even killed as a result of British overseers’ sexual exploitation of women, Indian women suffered even more, not only by British overseers on the estates but also by their husbands at home.</div>
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The scarcity also led to the perpetuation of child marriage, with many young women forced to have older husbands and this, in some cases, leading to domestic violence and murder of women. In 1896, 11-year old Etwarea’s marriage was arranged by her parents to the wealthy Seecharan, age 50, who paid her parents ‘a cow and calf and $50 and made a Will leaving his property to his wife.’ He later suspected her at around age 16 of being unfaithful and ‘sharpened his cutlass and completely severed [her] right arm’ after which she died.”</div>
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Sounds like how some of Guyana’s women still die even today. My point is that domestic violence has been around for a very long time. It existed long before the recent so-called “breakdown of the family.” As such, we cannot say domestic violence is caused by the breakdown of the family.</div>
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However, it seems to me that long-standing issues such as domestic abuse, adultery and misogyny are the cause of the breakdown of the family and once women had legal and land rights of their own, they no longer needed to stay with a man who beat her, cheated on her, degraded her and tried to control her every move.</div>
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Now, if society is desirous of maintaining the structure of the traditional family, there are two ways to do so. One is to take away all rights from women so they have no choice but to once again be dependent on their abusive, cheating husbands. Or two, the men must simply stop beating, degrading, controlling and cheating on their wives.</div>
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One reason I have such an issue with saying the breakdown of the family structure is the reason for domestic violence is because it seems to imply that if a woman stays in an abusive situation long enough to ensure the so-called sanctity of the family, the abuse problem will eventually fix itself. We all know this is false. In fact, the longer a woman stays in such a relationship, the greater the chance that she will be permanently maimed or killed by her spouse/partner.</div>
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In fact, by saying the breakdown of the family is the cause of domestic violence, it seems to put the onus (and therefore the blame) back on the woman to ensure the stability of the family and thereby requiring her to make the necessary sacrifices (like her life) to keep the family together.</div>
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Earlier this month, a “National Conversation on Domestic Violence” was held at the Zeelugt Primary School. According to a Stabroek News article about the meeting, “Prior to the discussions, Minister within the Ministry of Finance Juan Edghill had urged participants to suggest possible solutions to the problem; contributing factors to the escalation of violence, specifically domestic violence and what individuals, communities and the state and its partners can do differently to prevent domestic abuse. He charged the groups to re-examine the role of the family; how the family as an institution can be strengthened and how families could do more to socialise its members to be respectful, tolerant and better equipped to resolve conflicts and manage anger.”</div>
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I have no problem with the Minister within the Ministry of Finance’s approach as stated in this article as long as it does not assume the underlying notion that it is breakdown of the family that is the cause of the problem. It is the domestic violence that is the cause of the breakdown of the family.</div>
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Domestic violence is about a need for control. Men have been socialised to believe they can and should control women. Women are realising that not only do they not want to be beaten and controlled, but also that they have a right to live a life without being beaten and controlled. The male response to the rejection of their controlling ways is violence. This is the reason for such a sharp rise in domestic violence.</div>
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To stop domestic violence, teach men and women how to communicate openly and honestly, and jail men who retaliate with violence.</div>
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Eventually, men will realise they cannot beat women into submission to their control without facing the consequences and domestic violence will slow down.</div>
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It is ironic to me that in the meeting mentioned above, those in attendance found that one of the contributing factors to violence is that “men felt disrespected in their relationships.” Seriously?</div>
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Women are degraded, they are abused mentally, physically, monetarily and verbally, they are raped, tortured and murdered… and the men are the ones who feel disrespected when a woman refuses to take it anymore? Give me a break!</div>
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If this is the definition of a traditional family, I am glad it is breaking down. Of course men are going to throw a tantrum when they no longer have all the power. Let them go ahead and take all the time they need to adjust to the new reality that women have power now, too. But it must be done without violence. That is the law.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-47944646260925688642012-08-19T11:51:00.001-04:002012-08-19T11:55:59.796-04:00For the Linden mothers<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/07/21/for-the-linden-mothers/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 21 July 2012)</i></span></div>
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I had intended to write about Jackie Hanover’s great new song this week. However, the sad events of the past week made writing about a song–regardless of how awesome it may be–seem inappropriate.</div>
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Death is no time to sing and dance. So, I will write about Jackie’s song another time. This week I will talk about my son. Whatever else they may have been in the community,<span id="more-195476"></span>the three men killed earlier this week were sons from their first breath on this earth.</div>
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This week, I saw my eldest son for the first time in three and a half years. I cannot even begin to explain how much I have missed him. He followed the love of his life to Australia and is now a permanent resident in that country, leaving his mom and the rest of his family back home and missing him incredibly.</div>
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It is quite expensive to travel between Australia and the US, so this is the first time since he left that we have seen his face. There were days when I missed him so much that it physically hurt in my chest to think about it. Still, I did not know just how much I missed him until I was at the airport looking for him.</div>
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Uncontrollable tears started streaming down my face as I looked for him. When I found him, I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck crying without restraint at this point and trembling from the joyful emotions of it all.</div>
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I have been able to hug him anytime I wanted for a couple days now. I’ve been able to kiss his face. I’ve cheerfully told his fiancée all kinds of stories about his childhood and teenage days. I have him for a few more days to spoil and hug and kiss. I am one very happy momma.</div>
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As he woke me up playing a guitar in the other room this morning, I smiled at his inconsideration because his fiancée told me he does this to her early in the morning while she is still sleeping. My wry smile did not last long as the realisation of this week’s deaths was the next thought to cross my mind.</div>
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Those men had mothers like me. They had mothers who ached to see their faces and who felt that pain in their chest when too much time had passed since the last time they were able to hug their boy. Those sons in Linden had something else in common with my son, the heart of an activist.</div>
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My son takes after his mother in this regard. He questions everything and has no problem challenging dubious decisions by leaders. In fact, my son easily digests the decisions of leaders, processes the short and long-term repercussions of such decisions and can pronounce on the impact to society because of the decisions and then offer better solutions that do not include playing political games with the lives of people.</div>
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I can imagine how it would feel if my boy was shot dead because he was protesting an increase in the cost of electricity – and I have no doubt that if he lived in Linden, he would have been at the front lines of that protest and one of the loudest in the group. It is very easy for any mother to grasp the scope of the pain that Linden mothers are experiencing this week.</div>
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It is a hard, hard thing for a mother to come to terms with the sudden death of a child. But when that death is at the hands of society’s protectors while the child is taking a stand for what he believes is right, it is even more difficult.</div>
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After all, we teach our children that they have a say in the way they are governed. And we teach our children that they can trust law enforcement officers to protect them and their rights, like their right to free speech and their right to live.</div>
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What are the mothers of these sons to do now? What are they to feel? How are the mothers, fathers, siblings, friends and neighbours supposed to accept the unnecessary deaths of these sons?</div>
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The mothers of Liberia were so fed up with the death and violence that they organized a movement that started with thousands local women praying and singing in a fish market daily for months. Then thousands of women mobilized by their efforts, staged silent non-violent protests that included a sex strike and the threat of a curse. Ultimately, their determination brought an end to the Second Liberian Civil War in 2003.</div>
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After the collapse of the government in Somalia in 1989, Wajir soon found itself caught up in inter-clan fighting with a flow of weapons and refugees that made life increasingly difficult. The women just wanted to be sure they could get food for their children. With this in mind, they formed a group called the Wajir Women’s Association for Peace. In the end, this work of this group of women kept peace in their community and prevented the death of many.</div>
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Likewise, the mothers in Linden, and Guyana as a whole, have the power to bring the change the leaders of the nation cannot (or will not). The solution is really quite simple, if there are leaders willing to stand up and refuse to play this ridiculous game or to accommodate any leaders who play the game.</div>
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Guyana’s women can easily be the type of leaders that the predominately male leadership refuses to be. The nation’s mothers can put an end to the death and violence and save the lives of their sons (and daughters).</div>
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My son is safe this week. No one is shooting at him for standing up for himself. But understand this, Sisters, this is one mother who would do everything within my power to make sure the games stopped if it was a matter of protecting the life of my son.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-55899862979841684942012-08-19T11:44:00.002-04:002012-08-19T11:45:10.671-04:00How to build a beautiful life<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/07/14/how-to-build-a-beautiful-life/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 14 July 2012)</i></span></div>
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Recently, a friend posted on Facebook that she loved her life. I commented on her post, “You’ve made a good life for yourself. The life you love is a direct consequence of the fact that you made good decisions for yourself.”</div>
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Creating a good life is no easy thing. Life seems to throw all kinds of obstacles in the way until sometimes it is easier to just give up or to self-medicate to forget about how hard life can be.</div>
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We all want a beautiful life, but we do not think about what it takes to create such a great life. A beautiful life does not just happen and is not reserved only for<span id="more-194444"></span> lucky people. A beautiful and fulfilling life is crafted and carefully implemented through years of planning and good decision-making.</div>
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For example, my friend has created a beautiful life for herself, but it was not always this way. She has gone through some tough times and had to make some very difficult decisions. However, she faced her problems head on and found the strength to pave a path that would lead to a better life.</div>
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We have all made bad choices at some point in our lives. Who hasn’t been there? It could be as simple as doing something without thinking that casts a reputation that does not truly reflect the person inside. Or it could be an unwise choice, like deciding to date a “bad boy” instead of a guy with a good heart that comes from a stable home.</div>
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In the end, that bad boy could cause physical, emotional and mental harm that will stick around for years – maybe even the rest of you life. Such decisions not only effect you, Sister, but if you get caught in a long-term abusive relationship, it can effect your children, your extended family and your friends.</div>
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All because you thought it would be cool to date a “bad boy.” Bad choice. Bad choices never create beautiful lives. If you choose badly, bad things will be the result. No one is immune to this pattern. Our choices determine the course of our lives.</div>
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There are some key points to remember in building a beautiful life. The first has already been mentioned: make good choices. You cannot expect to make bad decisions and expect a good life. If you quit school, you cannot get a good paying job and you will live in poverty. If you choose to marry a man who does not respect others, he will not respect you either.</div>
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Sometimes, it is more complicated than just making good choices. For example, there are times in life when we are at our wit’s end and do stupid things. When we feel cornered, we hurt others, we let our sharp words fly and we make bad decisions.</div>
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Sisters, when life has pushed you up against a wall and you are at your wit’s end, don’t make rash decisions. Let yourself cool down. Take a walk or go on a short trip. It is important to find some time to sort through your feelings before making important life decisions.</div>
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The next key point in building a good life is to refuse to use drugs or alcohol to escape your problems. These are your problems, whether by your own making or not, and you must have a good, clear mind if you are going to find workable solutions that will create a better life for yourself.</div>
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It is so easy to escape the bad things in life by self-medicating with drugs or alcohol rather than facing those problems. There are some problems that feel so big that we cannot find a way out, but you do have the capacity to fix the situation and create a good life for yourself. Just remember, you cannot make wise decisions when you are high or drunk.</div>
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Big problems require a steady focus. Be smart, Sisters, and keep your eyes on the problem. When a wrench is thrown into your plans to solve the problem, don’t give up. Use your brain and find a way to counteract the damage caused by the wrench and keep going.</div>
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Which brings me to the next key point in building a beautiful life, which is don’t give up. You have to be strong, Sister. You have to find the inner power to keep fighting no matter what life throws at you. There will be times when you might want to give up. Please don’t. The longer you are entrenched in that problem, the more difficult it will be to get out, but it is never too late to create a plan to resolve that problem once and for all, so you can live a beautiful, healthy and enjoyable life.</div>
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Know what it is you want in life and keep your eyes on that prize. Do not let outside influences knock you down and make you forfeit the beautiful life you want. Get up, brush yourself off and fight like hell to regain your focus.</div>
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The most important point to remember is that it is never too late to turn things around and start making good decisions. You are not a lost cause and you deserve a beautiful life. I don’t care if you are 16, 36, 56 or 96; it is never too late to create the beautiful life you want.</div>
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What does your beautiful life look like? Do you want to be a professional? Make a plan and build that life. Don’t let distractions stop you. Do you want to be an artist? A good mother? Do you want to help others? Make the decisions that will create the life you want. You can do this, Sister.</div>
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It’s good to have a Sister to help you maintain your focus and to be there when something goes awry in your plan, which will happen. A Sister can help you regain focus and support you while you build your beautiful life. Now go build a great life!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-83529478695458659862012-08-19T11:40:00.002-04:002012-08-19T11:40:22.793-04:00Corporal punishment is ineffective and counterproductive<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/07/07/corporal-punishment-is-ineffective-and-counterproductive/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 7 July 2012)</i></span></div>
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The ongoing conversation on corporal punishment is of particular interest to me because I am a survivor of domestic violence at the hands of my own mother. I comprehend that in some minds there is a difference between spanking your child and beating your child, but because of my abusive background I see things a bit differently.</div>
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Though it was years ago, I have written before on the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother who abused me verbally, emotionally and physically, day after day, year after year,<span id="more-193390"></span> until I moved out of her house and married. In fact, the fervour that burns deep inside me against violence of any sort is ensconced in the brutal memories of a defenceless little girl.</div>
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Growing up in my mother’s house, there was not a time when I do not remember being abused. There was a time when I must have been around three or four years old and my mother, angry at something other than me, grabbed me and knocked my head into the knob of a door until my white-blonde hair turned red. This was not discipline – it was abuse.</div>
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Likewise, although packaged a bit differently, it was also abuse when a father recently told his wayward 14-year-old daughter “…to pack her clothes but as she was doing so, he dealt her several cuffs about her body. He then beat her with a belt and thereafter an electric wire, telling her ‘the belt isn’t working.’ After the thrashing, he then ordered her to take a bath.”</div>
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Thanks to a magistrate, the father will serve six weeks in jail for what he did to his daughter. I wish someone had given my mother six weeks in jail when I was young so she would have understood that beating her daughter was wrong.</div>
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How on earth can anyone think that using violence against a child will give her/him the necessary tools to make rational decisions about his/her life? Yes, that young girl was looking in all the wrong places for love and acceptance already. But how could any sane parent believe that beating her would solve the problem?</div>
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In fact, it will only further perpetuate the issue. She will be looking for love even more desperately now and she will be convinced that her father does not have the love she needs or wants since it comes with violence.</div>
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Because of my abusive background, as a young mother I refused to use violence to discipline my children. However, my second boy was an extremely difficult child. If I told him to sit, he would stand. If I told him not to touch, he would touch. He fought me on anything and everything to the point of exhaustion. I was at my wit’s end.</div>
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Then one day we were visiting the home of a man who was the principal of a Christian school. He observed how difficult my son was and asked why I did not spank him. I told him about my feeling about violence and he convinced me there was a difference between spanking a child in a controlled manner to discipline him and the beatings I received as a child.</div>
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I took this man’s advice and regret it to this day. My son, who is turning 24 this month, did not benefit from this type of “discipline” at all. In fact, as his mother, I now believe it was even more detrimental to his development.</div>
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As a young mother, I did not need someone to teach me to be violent to “help” my child. I’d seen enough of that from my mother and knew it did not work. I needed someone to teach me how to talk to my child so that I could better understand my son and he could better understand his mother. I believe this is the best way to parent and will produce children who are ready for healthy relationships instead of violent ones.</div>
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I know first hand what using violence against children does to the souls of children. The impact such abuse has on the psyche lasts a lifetime and it affects every aspect of their lives and relationships with others. I was lucky to have found an understanding husband who was willing and able to nurture me back to a somewhat normal person.</div>
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Imagine what an entire society of children who have been “disciplined” with violence would look like. Those children as adults would not trust others, which would prevent them from having healthy relationships. They would be socialised to accept violence because it was a way of life while growing up. They would be stunted emotionally because they were not taught how to work through problems rationally by using words and compromise.</div>
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In short, such a society would be violent and uncaring and lacking the capacity to raise children to have healthy relationships. In fact, corporal punishment is ineffective as it produces the exact opposite of the desired results, which means it is counter productive to the goal at hand.</div>
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Beating a wayward and difficult child is not the answer. That child needs and deserves something much better from a parent than violence. It should start from young when we teach our children to talk about their actions and the consequences of those actions.</div>
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Hitting an errant child on the head does not effectively explain to that child what they have done that is wrong or why it is wrong. It just tells them that someone can hit them and not be held accountable, which means at some point they too can hit a child and not be held accountable. In other words, each time a child is hit – even when justified as “discipline” – the notion that the world is unjust is further solidified.</div>
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On the contrary, imagine a society where parents sit down with their errant child and explain the infraction and why it was wrong. Trust and respect are established between parent and child with this method and these are important qualities the child can take into future relationships. Such children do not need to look outside their home for love and acceptance and they are able to distinguish between good people and those who want to harm them because the line is not blurred with a childhood of violence.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-18579292948554746932012-08-19T11:36:00.002-04:002012-08-19T11:37:14.099-04:00Our justice system is turning victims into criminals<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/06/30/our-justice-system-is-turning-victims-into-criminals/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 30 June 2012)</i></span></div>
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I have lamented time and time again about how victims of domestic violence have nowhere to turn for protection in Guyana. When they finally get the nerve to go to law enforcement for help, they are told it is a private matter and to go back to their abusers, where the violence continues and where some even die.</div>
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Even when law enforcement does do something about the abuser, getting a conviction is another story. Far too often, files are “lost” and money is exchanged for justice. Moreover, the government remains impotent on this issue as long as they cannot find the will to ensure the enforcement of the laws it created to make domestic violence a crime.</div>
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It was only a matter of time before women started to do <span id="more-192248"></span>whatever it took to protect themselves. However, it seems that as victims of abuse start defending themselves, they are being arrested, charged and fined for trying to stay alive and safe from harm.</div>
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This week, a victim of domestic violence for 17 years was in court for hitting her husband with a rolling pin, after he twisted her arm, which was just out of a cast. He also threatened to twist it more when she would not give him the cell phone that belonged to their son. (Is anyone else wondering how her arm was broken in the first place?)</div>
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Here is what the Stabroek News article from June 26 said:</div>
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“She explained that the reason why she hit her reputed husband with the rolling pin was because he held on to her hand which was broken. She explained that the cast had been taken off her arm only two days before the incident and the only means to get the virtual complainant (VC) to let go of her arm was to hit him with the rolling pin…</div>
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“She said she pleaded with the man to stop holding on to her arm as he might cause it to break again but he responded by saying that he would ‘break all two.’ The defendant, who said the man hits her, then broke down in tears saying: ‘I put up with he for 17 years and this is how he repaying me.’ She said she has suffered blows at the hands of the man on many occasions.”</div>
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According to the article, the magistrate asked the woman if she had ever reported the abuse and the woman said she had not, at which point the magistrate pointed out that the man had “no hesitation in reporting the matter against her.”</div>
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The woman admitted that she had assaulted her husband, but in my opinion, this was an act of defending oneself. He is clearly the one who inflicted violence upon the woman first, she asked him to stop, he did not stop and instead threatened additional violence, she then took defensive measures to ensure her safety. I do not see any criminal act on her part at all.</div>
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Why on earth was this woman arrested? Why was she in court? Why was she fined? How ironic is it that the law enforcement officer who arrested her did not send the husband back home with a patronising, “It’s a private matter, go back to your wife.”</div>
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What was this woman supposed to do? She had nowhere to turn and her safety was at stake. This utter frustration is exactly why the tone has changed when it comes to how society views victims of abuse. The widespread exasperation caused by the injustice these women face is so overwhelming that many victims are starting to take matters into their own hands – and they are being encouraged to do so by even good-hearted members of the community.</div>
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I have heard and seen numerous statements, from both women and men, saying it is time to “lock and load.” In short, the victims are being encouraged to defend themselves because no one else in society will protect them. This is not the best way to handle the situation, but what other recourse do these women have? They have nowhere else to turn.</div>
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On May 26, Stabroek News ran a letter from 24 women in Lethem who were begging for someone to do something about a serial rapist in that area. The letter said:</div>
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“We are a group of women who are concerned for our girl children in Lethem, Tabatinga and St Ignatius. This is so because there is a rapist whose identity is known in the region.</div>
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“There is a child in St Ignatius who is pregnant for him. There is another child who was forced to have an abortion in Georgetown. There are several other girl children who have suffered as well. We have been afraid to come forward because the man has money and friends in high places, and we felt that we were no match for him…</div>
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“We are calling on the authorities to carry out an extensive investigation because we feel that this man will not stop and may try to threaten the victims. We are also asking the various organizations in Georgetown to assist us, like the Red Thread and the Commission on the Rights of the Child. Our children need counselling and protection.”</div>
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Girls and women are being raped, tortured and murdered and no one—I repeat, NO ONE—is protecting them. I know firsthand how law enforcement turned a blind eye to a murderer as he walked freely around a village where the family of the woman he murdered lived. I have seen injustice upon injustice heaped upon women and now it seems that if women defend themselves, they are the ones who are arrested! The abuser goes free. Sexist and corrupt law enforcement officers go free. The impotent government goes free. It is the victim who is considered a criminal for defending herself.</div>
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This whole situation—the continued violence, the sexist law enforcement officers, the impotent government and the incessant injustice meted out to women—has reached a boiling point. Women are refusing to be punching bags. They are refusing to stay silent while their daughters are raped. They are ready to fight back.</div>
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It should not happen this way. Women should not have to become the very animals they so despise to stay alive and safe. I never condone violence as an answer to violence, but there simply does not seem to be any other way. Here’s hoping someone can offer other options very soon, like maybe a law enforcement and judicial system that actually protects victims.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-7250677166066200242012-07-06T12:45:00.001-04:002012-07-06T12:45:08.505-04:00Talking loud and doing nothing<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/06/23/talking-loud-and-doing-nothing/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 23 June 2012)</i></span></div>
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Lately I have noticed a common grievance among certain men concerning gender equality. These men recognise the progress being made by women in this area; however, they believe there can be no real discussion on gender rights if men are not included in the discourse.</div>
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I saw a comment on Facebook this week where one man said men “must also carry the torch with women if the walls of the existing patriarchy are to be broken down. Anything less is ineffective…any discussion <span id="more-191204"></span>on gender must be inclusive or it is a complete waste of time. All men are not the enemy.”</div>
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Another gentleman expressed similar sentiments to me when he said, “Any decent-minded human being would /should see the seriousness and try to help curb the senseless taking of lives. I’m saying that the more men are involved with you Sisters in this fight [the] more in-road[s] will be made.”</div>
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Although I get what these caring men are saying, one certainly cannot blame women for feeling like men do not understand or even care about the problems women face. After all, most of those problems were created and continue to be perpetuated by men on a daily basis.</div>
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Yet still, I willingly and happily agree that there are some men who want to fight for gender equality. These men truly understand the issues and are genuinely moved to action. But let us be honest and acknowledge that they are few in number.</div>
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The rest of these good-hearted men believe in the idea of gender equity in theory because the words sound good and they know it is the right thing to do, but they still continue objectify women and continue with the old habits that are at the very core of what propagates domestic violence and gender inequity.</div>
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For example, I posted this statement on my Facebook page; “You shouldn’t slut shame, after all every normal healthy person likes sex.” My purpose was simply to state that it is wrong to make a woman feel guilty for enjoying sex, a natural biological function, by calling her a slut. There were several male friends who were emphatic in their affirmation of my point.</div>
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One respected male friend responded thus, “Have you observed how you’re getting all these male responses Sis. Stella Ramsaroop? Keep dangling this approach like a ‘carrot stick’ [and] you would surely get more male support and contribution in your advocacy against domestic violence and abuse. You Sisters can’t fight it alone. We’re in this together. Right Brothers?”</div>
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I responded like this: “No offense, Bro, but why should the brothers need a ‘carrot stick’ to support our fight against domestic violence. I don’t do this for a reward. I do it because people are dying. Shouldn’t that be enough reason alone?”</div>
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This is the problem I see when it comes to men who want to join women in the quest for gender equality. First of all, there does not need to be a special invitation for men to join the fight for against domestic violence or gender equality. Secondly, men should not require a reward for joining the fight if they are sincere in their objective in supporting women.</div>
Moreover, what are the men waiting for? Where are the men who are standing up and demanding the government do something about the scourge of domestic violence? Where are the men who are outraged at the constant maternal deaths? I hear crickets chirping and nothing else.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"><div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
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While women continue to be murdered, why are these good-hearted men waiting for the women to invite them to put an end to the murders at the hand of men? Shouldn’t it be a natural reaction to step up and do something? Do these men even have what it takes to join women in this struggle?</div>
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Women have been waiting for thousands of years for men to do the right thing and end the violence, which has not happened. At this point, if the men want to join the gender equity struggle, of course they are most welcome. But women simply cannot wait around for men to do the right thing any more. If men cannot or will not join the struggle because it is the right thing to do, then women are ready to do it alone.</div>
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My apprehension about including men in my work with domestic violence victims extends to a practical level as well. I have asked men to help me with small errands when dealing with domestic abuse victims only to have them make sexual advances toward the victim! A woman who has just escaped an abusive relationship where she was also raped almost every day of the week does not want or need a man who is supposed to be helping her to victimise her even more.</div>
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Imagine that I cannot even trust a man to deliver a cooking pot to an abused victim without him causing her even more psychological harm! It was a lesson learned and I have not repeated that mistake again.</div>
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It is not that I doubt the concern that some good men have for women. I know there are men who are disgusted by the incessant violence against women. However, if men truly want to do something about the violence, then do it. Stop just talking about it. Stop just saying you’re disgusted. Stop making excuses. Do something! And don’t expect a reward for doing what you should have been doing all along.</div>
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Yes, men do have a part to play in the struggle for gender equality. So what are they waiting for? If there are men who are ready to stop the violence and see women in their rightful place in global leadership, it is upon those men to step up and do their part to make it happen. Otherwise, all of those big words about being a man who believes in gender equality are nothing but hot air.</div>
</span><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-78454686318264719452012-07-06T12:42:00.001-04:002012-07-06T12:42:30.134-04:00Celebrating men<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/06/16/celebrating-men-2/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 16 June 2012)</i></span></div>
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Every week, this column celebrates women in all their glory, whether by highlighting the great things women accomplish and presenting her-story, or by underscoring the many injustices meted out to women and standing up for their rights. This week, I want to celebrate men.</div>
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In the process of addressing the pertinent issues facing women today, which is the focus of this column, I frequently report on the problems created by the men who abuse and oppress women. However, in honour of Father’s Day I want to celebrate those men who stand with women as we fight for our rights.</div>
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It is not easy for me to celebrate men because I spend a lot of time researching women’s issues and working with women, as such I know very well the devastation men inflict on the women of Guyana and around the<span id="more-190085"></span> world. But it is exactly because of my difficulty in celebrating men that I am writing this column today.</div>
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If, as women, we neglect to celebrate the good in men, then we become just like those men who refuse to celebrate the good in women. It is their lack of respect for women that allows them to think they somehow have a right to rape, torture, oppress and murder us. Sisters, for the sake of the human race, we must not become this animal, too.</div>
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It is imperative to recognise the men who stand up to the abusers, who strive to keep women safe, who join us on the protest lines and who take a stand in legislative bodies to insist on women having equal rights and a voice. It is vital to celebrate the men who do live up to their parental responsibilities, who hold down a job and support the family instead of drinking the money away and who work side-by-side with the women doing the household chores.</div>
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Yes, I see so many atrocious things men do to women, but I also see glorious exceptions to the rule. In today’s world, where there are so many ways to harm a woman, it is so refreshing to see men who choose to care about women.</div>
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It may seem that I am congratulating good men for doing the right thing by simply being good men, which is what they should be doing anyhow. After all, no one thanks women for not beating men. Still, I think good men deserve some recognition for choosing not to be one of the animals that endanger the lives and rights of women.</div>
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In Guyana, there are men who stand with the women on the protest lines. For example, Vidyaratha Kissoon stands with Red Thread in protest lines, and in other ways, to fight for issues such as fair pay and justice for rape victims.</div>
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Johann Earle, a friend of mine, who is a reporter at this newspaper, has long had a desire to write more on the environmental impact on women in today’s world. I hope he gets to do that one day.</div>
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James Bond, a Parliamentarian for APNU, put a lot of effort into highlight women’s issues during the last elections.</div>
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Also during the last election season, Donald Ramotar, Khemraj Ramjattan and David Granger sat down and talked with me about many issues facing the women of Guyana. By agreeing to let me interview them, they helped to inject vital women’s issues into the campaign season.</div>
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I cannot name all of the good men who I have seen going about their daily lives helping women, supporting women, caring about women and loving women. I have even had taxi drivers who, without being asked to do so, patiently wait for me to unlock my gate and lock it back before pulling away. They are good men.</div>
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I have a friend whose dad influences me frequently. You would be surprised at how many columns I write on women’s issues that were inspired by this man’s wisdom. I proudly call him dad, too, because it is obvious how deeply he cares for the women of Guyana.</div>
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All of these men should be celebrated this weekend, whether they are fathers or not. And this selection of men is just from my circle of friends. There are a great many more men in Guyana who should be celebrated.</div>
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These good men are the antitheses of the man who hammered his wife’s skull in because she wouldn’t give him money to buy alcohol. In fact, most of my male friends would risk harm to stop such an animal (which is probably why they are my friends).</div>
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Of course, I have to mention my own Guyanese man, the father of my children and my husband for 26 years (+/-). Paul is the reason I walk with such confidence today. I was an abused child who had lots of issues. Not only did Paul help me overcome those issues, but he also stood by me and encouraged me to be everything I wanted to be in life. Now that is a good man.</div>
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As I mentioned, because of my research into women’s issues around the world and my work with women in Guyana, I am exposed to so much devastation against women by men. What keeps me balanced so that I do not get jaded and forget the good in men? My husband. I do not have to look very far at all to find a truly good man.</div>
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Sometimes he drives me crazy with his procrastinating ways or his loud music, but I can easily handle those annoying aspects because I know he is also an animal lover, he loves his children, he would never raise a hand to harm me, he shares his wisdom with me and most importantly, he has a good heart. In fact, Paul is the one who encourages me to keep going when I lose my strength to continue fighting for women due to my constant health issues. Like I said, he’s a good man.</div>
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Yes, Sisters, it is important to celebrate the good men around us. This Father’s Day, thank a man who supports women’s rights and celebrate the men who care about women.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-10955560382831904412012-06-18T10:51:00.000-04:002012-06-18T10:51:16.940-04:00Submitting to a myth<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/06/09/submitting-to-a-myth/">Stabroek News</a></span> on 9 June 2012)</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I attended a meeting earlier this year that included a good number of women who are devoted activists and advocates for Guyana’s female population. The overall discussion was spot on with the pulse of women’s issues in the nation.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">However, there was one statement made by a facilitator of the meeting that I can’t seem to shake. She emphatically stated, “There is not a problem with submission.” She was, of course, <span id="more-188957"></span>referring to the traditional mandate that requires women to submit to men.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I wrote the woman’s statement down and put exclamation points next to it to signify my shock. I completely understand that there are some Sisters who still adhere to these traditions that require them to submit to their husbands because they were raised to believe it is right to defer to a man. However, I simply cannot understand how women do not see that this mandatory submission is one of the reasons women 1) remain in abusive relationships; 2) do not seek the help they need to escape the violence; and 3) do not prosecute an abuser and in most cases will protect him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In fact, contrary to my dear Sister’s declaration, there is a very big problem with submission. The tradition of one gender submitting to the other (always women to men) has caused women to bow to the whims and fancies of men – always to the detriment of women and the elevation of men.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This skewed way of living has brought upon women savage atrocities like rape, torture, child marriage, constant verbal and emotional abuse, violence and murder for thousands of years – and in many instances neither victim nor her female friends and relatives are allowed to say a word in her defence.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yes, there is a very big problem with submission. Think of all the women who have been brutally raped, beaten and murdered in Guyana in just the last three weeks. The submissive stance of those women was programmed into them from the time they were little girls so that even at death’s door they still submitted.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As a result, I am asking all of my Sisters to re-examine and challenge these long-accepted traditions (such as submission to males) in the light of the evidence that shows how much it hurts all women and, in fact, all of humanity. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My husband never viewed this practice of submission as tolerable and instead encouraged me to take an equal place in our relationship and our family – and I did.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">However, it was obvious that some of our friends and church leaders did not approve of the way we had arranged our relationship. They often had issues with my ‘strong’ personality (defined as a non-submissive woman) and made sure to say as much – both men and women. I admit that I tried to conform to their ideology on several occasions, but my personality is just not one to be submissive. I am a born leader and do not apologise for it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There are just some women who cannot be boxed in by societal traditions and I am one of them. Luckily, I have a husband who wants me to be all that I can be and encourages me to do so. If I had a husband who was otherwise inclined, who knows what kind of beatings and torture would have been inflicted on me to make me submit?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There are many, many women who are just like me and know deep down, regardless of what patriarchal traditions mandate, that forcing women to submit to men is simply wrong. It is immoral.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How can it be moral to force a woman to be less than what she really is just to bow to a man’s ego? How can it be moral to expect a woman to submit to a cruel man? Why on earth should I be expected to submit my intellect, body and will to another human even before myself? I’m sorry, but this is all just preposterous to me.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In the act of submission, a woman belongs to that man and must now go to him for permission to do whatever she wants. Her life is under his control. She has a career outside of the house only if he approves. She dresses the way he wants her to dress. She behaves in a manner that pleases him regardless of what pleases her and if he wants to demean, beat and murder her, what say does she have? None.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I know some will say that this is not what submission means, but this is exactly the ultimate result – and it is this way by design of a male-led world. Just look at the state of the women in the world to see the truth.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Personally, I refuse to ask permission to be who I am from any human – male or female. I refuse to be someone’s punching bag simply because a male-oriented tradition says I am “weaker” than a man. I am not weaker. In fact, I am quite strong in many ways men lack – as are most women.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Those who decided women are lesser and weaker had obviously never met a woman like me (or rather, all women like me were murdered so those who were left would gladly submit rather than be murdered as well).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I refuse to submit to men. Period. I will be all that I can be without any man’s permission. And the only way to stop me from being the woman I am in all my feminine glory is to murder me, too.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Should there come a day when the men murder me, too, I pity the fools because there will be many more of my Sisters ready to rise and take my place. I have made sure of that.</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-64699985452841021462012-06-13T14:38:00.002-04:002012-06-13T14:39:43.409-04:00Waiting for the world to change? Stop.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/06/02/waiting-for-the-world-to-change-stop/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 2 June 2012)</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span></div>
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“When will it end?” This has been the ever-present question every time a woman is murdered by her husband/partner in Guyana lately.</div>
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“When will it end?” was repeated this week after a mother of ten was hammered and stabbed by her husband. It used to be just the women who would ask, “When will it end?” Now both female and male voices can be heard in the chorus of the heartbroken. Yet the violence against women endures and the women continue to die.</div>
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I asked myself this question again this week and I found an answer. I know when the<span id="more-187835"></span> violence against women will stop. It will stop when women make it stop. You see, violence against women is not a new phenomenon.</div>
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It existed in ancient times, when the Bible says the Israelites went around conquering other tribes (especially those who worshipped feminine deities), either killing the women or taking them as slaves or “wives” (against their will). Still today, rape along with other such violence against women is used as a “weapon of war.”</div>
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Violence against women existed during the days of the Inquisition, when, according to some reports, as many as nine million women were murdered as witches. Even today, women who practice holistic healing or explore feminine religions are stigmatised as “witches” – as if it were a bad thing to heal others or to choose your own religion.</div>
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Moreover, all through the ages, women have been subject to domestic abuse, sold as sex slaves, put on funeral pyres to be burned alive alongside their dead husbands, isolated inside houses away from the world, refused an education and given as brides while still little girls to be forced to have sex and babies before their bodies were ready for either.</div>
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This all still happens today. And today girls are killed before they are even born, just because they are girls. There are just so many ways to torture and murder women and it seems men like to be creative in their violence – as is evidenced by the headlines this week.</div>
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All throughout history men could have stopped the violence, but they did not. It was not until recently – when women started voting and gaining political power – that laws were even instituted to curb the violence. It was lawful to beat your wife. In some countries today, a man can still kill his wife and not be held accountable for it.</div>
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So when is the violence against women going to stop? When women make it stop; and not a second before. When women stop making excuses for men who beat them and put them in jail; that is when violence will stop. When women stop pretending that men will willingly stop raping and killing women and stand up and make them stop; that is when it will end.</div>
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I am not saying that all men are rapists and murderers. However, look at the mostly male law enforcement system that refuses to protect the women; look at the politicians who read the same headlines of murdered women as we do; yet still the murders continue.</div>
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Some may wonder why women just accept the violence. During the Inquisition, there were many women who stood up and refused to accept the religion being forced on them. Those women were tortured until they wished they were dead…and death soon followed in the most horrific of ways.</div>
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When some considered the choice of death or acquiescence to the violence of men, women often chose to live: sometimes for themselves and sometimes for their children. Either way, women were a conquered gender.</div>
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It is clear that women are still conquered today as we sit and grieve over a Sister who is hammered and stabbed by her husband, but we do nothing to demand an end to the viciousness. We go on with our lives the next day as if nothing happened… until the next Sister is brutalised and murdered.</div>
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It is my opinion that Guyana’s female politicians have very little power because they allow themselves to be controlled by the male politicians and the agenda of those male politicians. The problem with the male political agenda is that it has allowed for the violence against women to continue. The blood of the nation’s women continues to flow. And let’s be honest, the men will continue to allow the violence until women demand otherwise.</div>
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How does a woman demand an end to the violence? In any possible way she can. I can think of a gazillion ways to demand men stop their violent ways. In fact I am doing that right now by writing this column. The possibilities range from confronting the placatory male leaders to swarming the streets in solidarity to learning how to effectively defend ourselves.</div>
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Men did not want to give women the right to vote. Women fought for that right (though not the way men fight) and we won that victory. Likewise, the only way violence against women will end is when women make it end.</div>
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Sisters, I don’t know about you, but I cannot in good conscience grieve over another mutilated dead woman without demanding an end to the constant violence against women. Yes, we will grieve like we always have. We feel loss of life deeply as we are the ones who give life and work our whole lives to sustain life. But let us use that grief to move us to action. Let women be the ones to put an end to the violence once and for all.</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-70333053574829232352012-06-02T11:34:00.001-04:002012-06-02T11:34:10.407-04:00There will be blood<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/05/26/there-will-be-blood/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 26 May 2012)</i></span></div>
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I have been pondering the “purity” factor imposed on women for a couple of months now. I have talked about it with friends, read about it in books and watched a documentary about it. It seems there are just so many ways that a woman can be “icky.”</div>
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For example, social norms has long held that if a woman has sex before she is married, she is not pure. When she is on her menstrual cycle, she is not pure. In fact, just by virtue of being a woman,<span id="more-186702"></span> she is so unclean that she cannot enter certain religious areas or functions.</div>
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In other words, we are made to believe that by just being alive a woman is unclean. Nonsense! How on earth does it make sense that it is okay for a man to have sex before marriage, but it somehow makes a woman impure?</div>
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Sex is a natural biological function for both females and males. Sex does not (or should not) improve one gender’s honourable standing while degrading the other’s.</div>
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Yet there is a constant demand throughout recent history to make sure the girl stays a virgin and thereby “pure’ while the man can have sex as much as he wants without any declaration of icky-ness.</div>
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And then we have menstrual cycles. Oh my! It really gets me mad when I think that patriarchal societies have turned the very blood that makes life into an unclean and evil thing.</div>
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A woman’s period is yet just another biological function. There is nothing – I repeat, NOTHING – that is gross, unclean or impure about a menstrual cycle.</div>
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In fact, it is because of the woman’s menstrual cycle that any of us are even alive today. That menstrual blood should be revered, as it once was millennia ago, rather than held in contempt. Sadly, women believe it when they are told they are somehow “unclean” when on their periods.</div>
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I was elated to read that a VICE photo series by photographer Emma Arvida Bystrom, entitled, “There Will Be Blood,” is challenging that silly taboo.</div>
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According to an article entitled, “Menstruation Taboo Challenged by VICE ‘There Will Be Blood’ Series” in the Huffington Post, “The series depicts women going about various everyday activities, like jogging, reading, texting and waiting for the bus. The photographs aren’t sexual, they’re nearly mundane … except that each woman is bleeding through her clothing — something that has probably happened to most women — some more than once.”</div>
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I went straight to vice.com to see the photo series and was elated that there are women who really do get it – we are not icky like we have been made to believe. (To see the blood in all its glory for yourself; the photo series can be found at http://www.vice.com/en_au/read/there-will-be-blood)</div>
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Women have long been burdened with our presumed icky-ness. We’ve been bogged down with guilt for being unclean and impure for no other reason than biological functions. It is time to free ourselves of this archaic hogwash. We are not impure. We are the bearers of life! Without our beautiful blood, humanity would cease to exist.</div>
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Yes, there will be blood and that blood will continue to flow like it has for ages and generations.</div>
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This wondrous event is not something to scorn because the day that blood dries up is the day humanity dies. Therefore, a woman’s period should be a time of celebration of the miracle of life.</div>
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How did things get so turned around that women are made to feel embarrassed by their periods? Women sneak around to buy sanitary napkins hoping no one sees them or hide their tampons in their sleeves as they go to the bathroom.</div>
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This is all wrong. It might be a private thing, but it is not an icky thing. That blood represents the power of procreation.</div>
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The truth is that some men want women to think they are icky just by being born in the first place. There are countries where baby girls are killed just because they are female. In some countries women are bought and sold like cattle. It is no wonder that even in Western countries women still feel the stigma of the not too distant past history when our Sisters in other parts of the world still suffer so greatly.</div>
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This perceived icky-ness of women is so wrong and immoral. Women should be honoured and revered for their place in procreation. They should be free to be female and proud of it.</div>
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Women have been held back (put in their place) for so long that it has hurt the human race. Making women feel guilty for sex, or for their periods or even for just being born (all ways of holding women back) is counterproductive to the overall good of humanity.</div>
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It is time for women to take their rightful place in society. It seems I have made that last statement a million times over, but I will continue saying it until it becomes reality. The longer it takes for women to find a way to reject these ridiculous ideologies that promote female icky-ness, the longer the human race will continue to suffer from the gender imbalanced approach to global leadership.</div>
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To be more specific, until women are leading the world, side-by-side with the men, there will most certainly be blood, and it should not continue to be the blood of death and murder, but the life-giving blood of women. Until women step in and demand an end to the wars and the violence and find peaceful ways of resolving conflict, the human race will continue on the destructive path it has been on for so long.</div>
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I am not the least bit offended at the blood of a woman’s menstrual cycle. That blood of life is beautiful. What offends me is blood shed in violence.</div>
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That blood signifies wasted life and the brutality of a male-only led world. If anything is impure, unclean or icky, it is the unchecked savagery of the male ego and the lengths to which he will go to conquer and rule.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-11292826966945974722012-06-02T11:31:00.001-04:002012-06-02T11:31:54.421-04:00Inappropriate workplace advances<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/05/19/inappropriate-workplace-advances/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 19 May 2012)</i></span></div>
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So guys, what do women think of your inappropriate workplace advances?</div>
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Listen to a friend’s story about an incident that happened to her a couple weeks ago.</div>
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“I have this client. He’s been a client of mine for a little over a year when I was just freelancing, and now he’s a client [for my new business]. He often says things that are quite inappropriate, but I <span id="more-185651"></span>just ignore them and stay professional and business-focused. That’s always worked.</div>
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Well he’s been trying to get me to go out to dinner with him for a long time to discuss a project he has for [my business]. I kept trying to change it to lunch, but eventually caved and agreed to dinner…this past Thursday.</div>
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Dinner went fine, conversation was mostly professional and he did have a real project for [my business] to work on. There was a little personal conversation sprinkled in about kids and his wife of 35 years, the house they just bought, etc. So when we left, he said he’d walk me to my car. When we got there, he gave me a hug (which I’m okay with), but then tried to lean in to kiss me on my lips!!!</div>
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I immediately turned my cheek so the kiss landed there instead. I firmly said, ‘Thank you for dinner. Good night.’</div>
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I did NOTHING to make him think kissing me was okay. What on earth was he thinking?</div>
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I’m sure it happens to a lot of women all the time. It’s not the first time it’s happened to me. I’m usually really careful about who I go to business meetings with because many times it’s just the guy wanting to spend time with me and get to know me – not my business offerings. So I only [have face-to-face meetings] when I know the person is a decent guy or serious about commissioning our services, [otherwise] I keep everything virtual.</div>
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And not to mention this guy’s daughter is the exact same age as me! Sickening!”</div>
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So guys, what do women think of your inappropriate workplace advances? They are disgusted by such nonsense. Women do not go to their workplace to be groped and to hear ridiculous quips about their body parts or what they are wearing.</div>
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I know full well that most of the men reading this column who are egotistical enough to be guilty of workplace sexual harassment will say to themselves that women do not react to their advances like my friend who was revolted by what happened to her. Again, these narcissists are so very wrong.</div>
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Most women typically react to workplace harassment the same way my friend said she did when the fool mentioned above would say inappropriate things: she just ignored the harassment and tried to stay focused on business. I hate that women feel they must play dumb about these things to maintain a professional relationship.</div>
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Guys, women don’t want your advances at the workplace; they think those advances a waste of their time and energy when they are trying to get things done on the job. Moreover, when on a job, a professional woman’s focus is not romantic; it is on the task at hand.</div>
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Now I know some egotistical guys think women do nothing else but sit and think about “mack daddy” all day long and wait with bated breath for them to walk by with a statement that will objectify women and reduce them to sex objects instead of capable humans with a keen brain. But, let me let you in on a little secret…once again you are wrong.</div>
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Instead, the ladies in the workplace gather and talk about how silly you look when you try to “mack” and laugh behind your back because you think you have “game.” There are other ladies who find it downright offensive when you treat them like a potential sexual conquest instead of a co-worker on equal intellectual footing.</div>
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More often than not, women go to their girlfriends and relay the whole disgusting incident (like my friend did) and the exchange of information is not flattering for the guy at all. So while you go around thinking your mack-daddy-ness is making the ladies swoon, you are actually the creepy clown that the women try to avoid.</div>
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You see, it is not “cool” to be disrespectful to women and until you can approach a woman with the respect due her and her position within the workplace, your childish antics will forever put you in a designated spot of avoidance and women will not take you seriously on any level.</div>
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In order to gain respect, a person must be willing to give respect. Women who respect themselves would never find sexual harassment to be endearing or respond to it in a positive manner.</div>
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Men who inflict sexual harassment on women are endured to keep the peace or to keep a job, but not because women are okay with the harassment.</div>
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Guys, keep this in mind the next time you want to harass a woman. Instead, grow up and talk to women with respect. If you treat women with respect and they will reciprocate.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-85640949893124312332012-05-23T15:14:00.001-04:002012-05-23T15:14:53.062-04:00Who will protect our women?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/05/12/who-will-protect-our-women/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;">Stabroek News</a></span> on 12 May 2012)</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A woman died this week after law enforcement officers went through her Sophia neighbourhood shooting off their guns. She ran to the door out of fear for her son’s life and then just collapsed. Those same heartless officers then refused to take the woman to the hospital. This is a woman who had children and helped to feed other children,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span id="more-184521"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">but those who are sworn to protect and serve society treated her as nothing.</span></div>
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Last week a Muslim woman who had been viciously assaulted (her top and hijab were ripped off of her!) allegedly by member of the Anna Catherina Policing group went to the Leonora Police Station to file a report and was abused even further by a law enforcement officer at the station. Such humiliation and torture inflicted on this woman by the “protectors.”</div>
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In February, a “protector” at the Sans Souci Police station in Wakenaam bluntly refused to take a report from a domestic violence victim. The officer reportedly told the victim and her mother that such a matter was not for the police; instead, he said it was a matter of a private nature and he advised her to take her own action. I sure hope that woman is still alive today. If she is, it is no thanks at all to the nation’s “protectors.”</div>
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How many cases of violence against women never see justice because those in law enforcement either do not do their job or conveniently turn their eyes the other way? The epitome of all that is wrong with the nation’s protectors comes in the person of the former police commissioner Henry Greene, who was accused of committing a rape at gunpoint and then found a way to escape facing a charge. It is just so disgusting that it makes me want to spit!</div>
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I could go on and on about cases like these, where the protectors are in fact either part of the problem (by inaction) or the entire problem (by active commission of a wrong) when it comes to violence and abuse against women. These protectors are most certainly not the solution, which is what they are paid to be.</div>
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That is not to say that there are no good officers in Guyana. But let’s be honest, we seldom hear of officers who help, protect and serve the country with noble intent. Instead, we hear about and see with our own eyes the bribes, the abuse, the corruption, the refusal to help, the refusal to protect. All of this skulduggery from law enforcement does not solely apply to the women of the nation; it is usually spread pretty nicely across all citizens, including those who do not have the money to buy their way to justice.</div>
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During my recent trip to Turkey for a women’s rights conference, my house in Prashad Nagar was robbed and all the electronics were stolen. My husband did not even bother to call the police. He and our friends said, “What’s the use?” My only response was to shrug and agree.</div>
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However, although the lack of protection extends to all citizens, it would seem that since women are one of the more vulnerable groups in society, common sense would argue that those who need the most protection should be first and foremost on the list of those to be protected by the protectors. Instead, women are further abused and violated by the very protectors themselves!</div>
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So where are the women to turn for justice? Who will protect Guyana’s women when law enforcement refuses to do so? When a woman needs help, there is nowhere to go and no one who will protect her. There is ample reason for her not to turn to the police for help and this is a sad indictment against all law enforcement officers.</div>
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I say all, because even the good officers who want to help, protect and serve look the other way when their colleagues inflict harm and abuse against women. When the “good ones” do not stand up and protect women from their own colleagues, they are just as guilty as the ones who actually inflict the harm and abuse.</div>
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Again, where are women to go for protection? This is not a rhetorical question. I really do want an answer from someone who has the authority to answer it. The women of this nation deserve to know the answer to this question. Even more, the women need to know the answer.</div>
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Who is willing to answer this question for the women of Guyana? The acting Police Commissioner? The Home Affairs Minister? The Human Services Minister? President Ramotar? Can someone please tell us where women can go for protection without being further abused? Is there anyone who even gives a damn?</div>
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Is there any leader in all of Guyana who will stand up for the women and demand a change in the way law enforcement treats the females of the nation? I am begging – I’m pleading – please protect the women. Tomorrow we celebrate Mother’s Day. How many mothers will need protection tomorrow and not get it?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-679680617240258782012-05-23T15:11:00.002-04:002012-05-23T15:13:11.577-04:00Bad Romances<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/05/05/bad-romances/">Stabroek News</a></span> on 5 May 2012)</i></span></div>
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I often wonder how many women settle for relationships that are not mutually satisfying. How many spend day after day wishing they had a better relationship while living with a spouse or partner who could not care two cents about having a thriving relationship?</div>
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I am talking about the kind of relationships where the woman does everything, like nurture the relationship, bears the brunt of the household chores and at times even looks the other way while he talks to another woman on his BlackBerry.</div>
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As women, we hear some of these Sisters talk about their situations and try to help them through the tough times. Others quietly bear<span id="more-183288"></span> their hurt and pain, hoping one day the man will wake up and be that loving and caring partner they are so sure he truly is, deep inside.</div>
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Sadly, there are women who live this way for years and years until the multiple sharp barbs to the heart have calloused them so much that it is difficult to tell their dead feelings from those of the man who made them this way. Society expects women to stay in such relationships no matter how punishing. A woman is supposed to stand by her man and hope her goodness will rub off on him.</div>
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We all know, of course, that the man does not change. He doesn’t even want to change; does not see a reason to do so. In fact, most men will see that goodness from the woman as a licence to do even more that will hurt her.</div>
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When confronted about the hurt they cause, men like this tend to want to be defensive or to push the blame back on the woman instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. After all, he had no choice but to work late (365 days a year) or to talk to that other woman several times a day (it’s just a “business” relationship) or to walk all over the woman’s feelings (he never understands the tears – and never tries to do so).</div>
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That very same man would never tolerate this type of behaviour from her. Yet the woman is expected to just accept his ill-treatment with a smile and dinner on the table. And sadly, many women do just that.</div>
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On top of holding down a job to make ends meet, so many women in this type of untenable situation go home to wash and press that man’s clothes, clean his house, raise his children, shop for his groceries, cook his meals (and even take the food out of the pot and hand him the plate!) all while his majesty grumbles and complains about this or that – or talks to his sweet woman on the phone.</div>
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She does not get flowers for her hard work. There are no kind words for her; they are saved for the sweet woman. There’s not even a measly “thank you” for everything she does and all the sacrifices she makes, so he can live like a prince.</div>
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This goes on day after day, week after week, year after year. And when the woman just can’t take it any more and breaks down into tears, he calls her “emotional” or crazy or pathetic (sometimes all of the above). Afterwards, she is the one left feeling like she has done something wrong by putting a dark cloud in his majesty’s blue sky. This is madness to the nth degree.</div>
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Yet she fights to hold this unhealthy relationship together. She does not understand why she works so hard to preserve a relationship that causes her so much hurt and heartache; she just knows that it would disappoint society if she cannot make him happy. Moreover, she has invested so much of herself into this relationship that she can’t seem to just walk away – even if it is for her own good.</div>
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This is not a question of love. It is a question of self-preservation. How long can the woman hold on until she either loses all of herself to this relationship and becomes nothing more than the walking dead or has a mental breakdown from dealing with the constant bombardment of hurtful barbs?</div>
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What is wrong with this picture?</div>
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Does he have any intention at all of changing? Of becoming more loving, caring and attentive? Does he plan to stop hurting her with his curious relationships? Will he ever decide that he, too, has responsibilities in the home and finally help her?</div>
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Women should not be forced to live like this. Yet think about how many Sisters you know who live like this every single day. There is so much feminine potential in those Sisters that goes to waste as they spend all their energy trying to get even one smile from that man who is too wrapped up in his own selfish world to even take note.</div>
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Even her beauty and intelligence are lost on him. When others tell him how pretty she is; he gives a blank stare. When others tell him what a great woman she is, he picks up his BlackBerry to see if his sweet woman has sent him another message.</div>
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He thinks that sweet woman understands him better, but most times she doesn’t even know him. It is the spouse who has seen him through thick and thin, through richer and poorer and who really knows him. It is the partner who knows all of his ugly ways and still accepts him that truly loves him.</div>
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Imagine the possibilities if instead he spent all that “sweet woman” time, energy and effort on his wife.</div>
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When she finally cannot take it anymore and finds the courage to take her life back, all too often he suddenly he realises he loves her. Most times the man will beg her to stay and make empty promises about being a better husband, but one cannot help but wonder at this point if he fears losing his wife and his love – or just his maid.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-57227160108843676292012-05-23T15:08:00.001-04:002012-05-23T15:09:23.974-04:00The revolution should be feminised<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/04/28/the-revolution-should-be-feminised/">Stabroek News</a></span> on 28 April 2012)</i></span></div>
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As I was casually browsing the many booths with information and goods from the various women’s organisations at the Association for Women’s Rights in Development (AWID) Conference in Istanbul, Turkey last week, I spotted some T-shirts that grabbed my attention. Although I had already walked past the booth, the message on the T-shirts made me do an about face. Just as I was turning around, a voice from the booth said, “Stella?” The thought struck me as to how unusual it was to hear my name being spoken in Istanbul by someone besides my Guyanese colleague. It was a Sister from Jamaica who is also a Facebook friend and, as it turned out, the person who created the T-shirts that grabbed my attention.</div>
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The message on the shirts stopped me because it was obvious it could only have come from a Caribbean Sister. The shirts read, “The Revolution Should Be Feminised!” After chatting <span id="more-182221"></span>with my Jamaican Sister, I bought a T-shirt to hang in the S4 Foundation office as a reminder that any revolution that does not include women is not a valid revolution.</div>
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On the topic of revolutions, today in the US there will be marches in many cities around that nation by women (and men who care about women) who are fighting back against the injustices meted out to them. They are taking a stand. They are making their voices heard as their very own government representatives try to take away their reproductive rights. It is sickening to me how something as priceless as a “right” or justice can be used as political tools, as if men should be able to give and take these precious commodities whenever it strikes their fancy.</div>
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In America, the women are now struggling for their right to choose when they reproduce. I’m not talking about abortion alone; I am also talking about access to birth control. The desire for men to control women’s bodies seems insatiable. This struggle in the US will have global consequences and the American women cannot fail. They must persevere and win this war.</div>
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In the past year in the US there have been a record number of laws passed to infringe on women’s reproductive rights. This is going backwards, but it is true. Decades ago, Margaret Sanger said, “No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.”</div>
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In other words, by taking away a woman’s right to choose when she procreates, you are taking away her freedom as well. And to what end? To sate the egos of men who cannot handle the likes of a woman who thinks and makes decisions for herself? Or to hold all women to the most extreme versions of religious theology, even if they do not practice that religion themselves? </div>
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It is no wonder more and more women are walking away from religion. There is currently a global revival of extremism in most of the world’s religions and that intemperance is accomplishing one of two things: it is either shackling women even further or chasing them away. Both consequences are not good for religion–or for women.</div>
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Today is also the start of a sex strike in the US in response to the trouncing of women’s reproductive rights. A sex strike is a method of non-violent resistance in which one or multiple persons refrain from sex with their partner(s) to achieve certain goals. It is a form of temporary sexual abstinence. The sex strike runs through May 5 with the thought that if women’s reproductive rights are denied, so will men’s.</div>
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In Guyana, women won a shallow victory when Henry Greene, the former Police Commissioner accused of rape, retired from his post. The good news is that he is finally and permanently out of that important position. But that is the only good news.</div>
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The bad news is that Greene was allowed by the government to subvert the justice system and retain his pension and benefits (paid by taxpayers). This is no real victory for Guyana’s women. In fact, it is the complete opposite of a victory.</div>
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Concerning other issues of concern to women in Guyana, it was brought to my attention that the Women and Gender Commission was allocated $22 million by the government in this year’s budget. When MP Deborah Backer questioned the fact that this amount was less than half of what was requested, the response was flippant and dismissive as if it really did not even matter. I bet it didn’t.</div>
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Indeed, any revolution that does not include women is not a valid revolution. The opposition and the government can go head-to-head in dramatic fashion all they want, but if they neglect the women and their children in the process, their efforts are counterproductive to the overall health of the nation. The revolution should be feminised!</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-51764742262670207262012-05-23T15:06:00.000-04:002012-05-23T15:10:05.484-04:00Feminist Economics 101<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc6611;"><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/04/21/feminist-economics-101/">Stabroek News</a></span> on 21 April 2012)</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;"></span></div>
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Picture this: the world’s brightest women on economics coming together with thousands of women’s rights advocates from around the world to address the global economic situation as it applies to the female half of the world’s population. What a dream!</div>
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This dream is reality for me this weekend in Istanbul, Turkey as I attend the Association for Women’s Rights and Development’s (AWID) 12th forum entitled, “Transforming Economic Power to Advance Women’s Rights and Justice.”</div>
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AWID is an international feminist membership organisation that works to strengthen the voice, impact and influence of<span id="more-181046"></span>women’s rights advocates, organisations and movements internationally to effectively advance the rights of women.</div>
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I came to this forum to get a better sense of the global scope of the women’s rights movement. With 2,200 women’s rights advocates from over 100 nations, I am getting that and so much more. It is beyond my ability to describe the feeling of seeing a sea of Sisters from around the world greet and encourage each other.</div>
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Although I love to travel, this is the first time I have ventured to a country where I cannot speak even one word of the native language, which in this case is Turkish. It has been only a slight inconvenience. I am here with another human rights advocate from Guyana to learn as much as we can to bring back to our work in Guyana.</div>
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This is my first time attending an event of this size on an international level. We have met Sisters from India, the Congo, Australia, Greece, Turkistan, Sudan, Mexico, and Guatemala; in fact, we have met so many Sisters from so many countries that I can not even remember them all to make a proper list.</div>
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You would think that with the convergence of so many cultures into one conference centre there would be an element of fragmented suspicion at least, and, at worst, open hostility over bitter international relations. That is absolutely not the case. On the contrary, we greet each other with a hug and a kiss. There is genuine affection and concern for each other and marked interest in the work each Sister does in her respective country.</div>
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This conference has inspired me to believe that a global Sisterhood is not only a possibility, but to understand that it already exists. While working on women’s issues in Guyana, one can be so focused on important local issues (like the fact that Top Cop Henry Greene may actually get his job back, after dodging a rape charge) it is easy to lose sight of the larger global picture.</div>
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One of the primary reasons I came to Istanbul was to learn more about how global and local economics impact women. I can easily grasp social and political aspects as they apply to women, but understanding economics has always been a problem for me, even in general, much less on a more specific basis concerning women.</div>
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Yet I am not one to be daunted by a subject I do not understand. The answer to everything we want to learn rests in study and research. I came to Turkey with the clear intention of leaving with a better understanding of how economic issues – like the budget currently being debated in Guyana – apply to the women.</div>
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Imagine my extreme pleasure to realise there are so many brilliant women who not only comprehend the economic situation in their own countries, but also have in-depth knowledge about economics on a broader, worldwide scale. It was also a pleasure to realise that these women want to teach the rest of us what they know so we can use this information to improve the lives of other women.</div>
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In fact, as my colleague and I left a particular interactive session on Thursday a bit confused and befuddled about some of the views expressed on micro-financing, we happened across the path of a brilliant woman who was a speaker at the first general session. She took the time to listen to our queries and explain the other views we had encountered, which in turn helped us to see possible pitfalls that should be avoided.</div>
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To be sure, women are often left out of economic decisions. The world’s dominant economic systems were built by the patriarchy, giving little thought to the significant roles women play in the financial well-being of the world. For example, the unpaid labour produced by women (i.e., childcare and housekeeping, cooking) can be seen as subsidies to the capitalist system practiced in many countries around the world. Without such subsidies, capitalism would fall.</div>
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In fact, according to UN gender reports, women perform 66% of the world’s work, produce 50% of its food, earn just 10% of its income and own only 1% of its property. I have one word for these statistics: FAIL.</div>
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In fact, it was not too long ago when women themselves were seen as property (and still are in some countries). Why on earth would a man’s property need to own property, right? Again, FAIL.</div>
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As it becomes clearer that the present economic systems are not fair to the world’s overall population and the 99% begin to demand a change in financial distribution, it is women who continue to suffer most.</div>
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In Istanbul this weekend, these Sisters gathered from all over the world know that as we continue to struggle for gender equality in our social, political and religious environs, we must also battle for equality in economic policies and development.</div>
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Once I leave Istanbul, I will be very interested in researching the budget being presented to Guyana’s Parliament right now to find the ways in which it has been crafted to benefit the women of the nation. It is so very difficult to stop an insatiable mind.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16611623.post-45191619572980429032012-04-23T21:39:00.002-04:002012-04-23T21:45:50.415-04:00Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); line-height: 18px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><i>(Originally published in Guyana’s<a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/03/10/does-jennifer-webster-have-the-courage-to-make-a-difference/" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(204, 102, 17); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 102, 17); "> </span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 102, 17); "><a href="http://www.stabroeknews.com/2012/features/04/14/mad-as-hell-and-not-going-to-take-it-anymore/">Stabroek News</a></span> on 14 April 2012)</i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><p size="13px" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">The effects of the dismissal of the advice that a charge of rape be brought against Police Commissioner Henry Greene continue to ripple throughout the country and even beyond its borders. It seems no right thinking person can come to terms with this untenable situation. Yet, while the prosecution and dismissal of Greene seems so clear-cut to the rest of the world, Guyana’s Attorney General (AG) does not seem to grasp it.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">I am sure it was thought that when the advice to charge was dismissed, this gross injustice would probably raise ire with certain women’s groups and then the matter would just flitter away<span id="more-179838"></span> into the ether. That is what typically happens. However, this case signified the epitome of all the injustices meted out to Guyana’s women and could not therefore be swept under the rug so easily.</p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">In fact, this case seems to have awakened a sleeping giant. Left with the incredulous realisation that Greene could walk away from such serious charges and might even resume his duties as Police Commissioner, the women are outraged and they are not letting up.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">I have lost count of how many women, including women in the government, in the legal profession and even in other Caribbean countries have spoke out against the Chief Justice’s (CJ) decision in this matter.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Yes, the usual women’s groups have voiced their disgust at this blatant betrayal of Guyana’s women by the justice system, but there are many, many others as well. In fact, I do not think it is possible to put the cap back on this genie. It is out of the bottle and it is ready to fight.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><a name='more'></a>In the US, justice seemed to finally triumph when the world found out on Wednesday that the man responsible for young Trayvon Martin’s death would in fact be charged for that meaningless murder.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Yet, back in Guyana on the same day, justice found no such triumph as women were diminished yet again when a government representative in the form of the AG told the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) not to appeal the questionable High Court decision. What?!?</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">It truly feels like we are Alice in Wonderland and all we can do is shake our heads in wonder and amazement at the ridiculousness of it all.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">There have been numerous credible analyses on why the High Court’s decision was errant and deficient. There have also been calls from women all across the nation for justice. Yet still, on top of all of this and more, the government now steps into this mess and affirms the Chief Justice’s decision?</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">With so many men circling to protect Henry Greene, you would think he was the president of Guyana. One cannot help but wonder what makes Greene—a man who has previously been accused of sexual misconduct—so special to deserve all of this shielding, especially at the expense of the nation’s women. And let there be no doubt, the women of Guyana will pay a hefty price.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">I am not pronouncing on Greene’s innocence or guilt. However, one thing is quite obvious—this case should have gone to trial and a jury should have decided Greene’s fate. According to a Stabroek News article, Trinidad Senior Counsel Dana Seetahal noted that Chief Justice Ian Chang had conducted a detailed analysis of the statements of the complainant and Commissioner Greene and she described this as “more in the line of a defence counsel’s closing address,” after which he stated that the prosecution had no reasonable prospect of success. I got the same exact impression.</p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><strong>What a mockery of justice!</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Will women now be subject to the further degradation of seeing Greene placed back in his position as Police Commissioner? Must women be required to turn to Greene for justice? Again, what a mockery!</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Worse still, will these injustices be put upon women by their own government? How much longer will the women suffer? If it is up to the women, not much longer.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">I get so excited when I see women come together and unite for a cause. I was happy to join Red Thread as it protested in front of Parliament against the CJ’s decision on the Greene case. I am glad to see the Women’s Miners Association protesting the fact that their land is being taken from them. These are such exciting times. The women have awakened! But there is more going on than just the protests.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Everywhere I go I hear the undercurrent of revolt in the conversations of women. “We won’t take it any more!” The women are done being the scapegoats for political games. “We won’t be treated like dirt!” The women are banding together. They are uniting. “It is time for things to change!” They are ready to make some permanent changes–-regardless of whether some men like it or not. “They will hear our voices!”</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">There can be no doubt about it, the subtle stirrings of the past few years were unleashed when the CJ decided to let Greene walk free. Take the time to listen to the conversations of women around you. Don’t talk, just listen. They are not waiting for men to do right by them any more. Why should they when it is obvious that these men have no intention of doing right by the women? They just want to play their games.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">If the men will not look out for the well-being of the nation’s women, it is then compulsory that the women do it. The future of our daughters is at stake. The future of the human race is at stake. Let the men play their games while the women take their rightful places in society.</p><p style="text-align: justify;font-size: 13px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0) !important; line-height: 18px !important; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">At this point, I do not know if the DPP has the courage to take this case to the Caribbean Court of Justice. For the good of the women, I hope and I pray that she does. If the male leaders of Guyana are too busy playing political games to ensure justice for women, then perhaps it is time to let others protect Guyana’s women.</p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0