by Stella Ramsaroop
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 11 March 2007)
During my sabbatical, I received an email to which I will now attempt to reply. However, I will admit from the start that I do not have all of the necessary resources to fully provide the type of response this email deserves, but I will do my best.
The email was from a Guyanese woman who asked many questions of me in just four short paragraphs. She wanted to know if I could tell her what Guyana’s Constitution had to say about the rights women. In particular, she wanted to know about the rights of the married Muslim woman.
I am going to share a large portion of that email with you because it is so powerful. However, I will not give this ladies name because I fear for her safety – as she obviously does as well. You will soon understand why.
She said, “I ask myself everyday how the people can life like this. Why the government of Guyana no do anything for all the Guyanese woman everyday suffering abuse for her husband etc. I ask my self everyday PPP control Guyana for more and 5 years and until now them can no do anything.”
This precious woman wanted to know why the police seem to lose evidence when it is time to present it to the lawyer after a woman is raped or a family member is murdered.
She continued, “I have another cuestion why in this XXi century the parents can choice husband for her daughter.” And toward the end of the email, the woman said, “Really I have plenty cuestion in my head and until now I no get answer.”
This poor woman’s email broke my heart. She is obviously very smart. She knows it is wrong for a husband to beat his wife. She knows she should expect more from her government and her law enforcement officials.
She knows that every woman should be able to choose her own husband. She has so many questions and so few answers. I would bet my last dollar that there are many women in Guyana who share this woman’s frustration.
First of all, my friend, let me say that from what I know of Guyana’s Constitution, it does not afford any less rights to the women of the nation than it does the men. However, precious sister, your problems are to be found elsewhere. The source of your problems can be found in the laws (or the lack thereof), the enforcement of those laws and in the social and religious traditions that are so ingrained into society.
You were right to pin the guilt of the plight of Guyanese women on the government. Complacency and bureaucracy is the rule of the day with the PPP when it comes to protecting the women.
You were also very wise to blame the law enforcement officials for their part, too. No matter how many laws the government does actually instituted for the protection of women, it matters not if the police treat an abuse or rape victim with contempt.
Moreover, patriarchal religions and social traditions further propagate the subjection and objectification of women. This is why a man feels he has the right to choose his daughter’s husband, because he sees her as his property until he decides to give her to another man, at which time she becomes that man’s property.
The women of Guyana have so much working against them. They have a government that cares too little about their plight, a law enforcement system that treats them as badly as their abusive husbands and a system of social and religious traditions that shackle these women to an unbearable life.
This is my clumsy answer to your questions, dear friend. It is simply an academic response from someone who has studied this topic and answered these questions over and over. However, if you are looking for a real answer to your questions, then I would like to suggest that you pose these questions to someone who can help you to find some tangible resolutions – the Poised and Proper Priya Manickchand.
In her position as the Minister of Human Services and Social Security, Poised and Proper Priya wields the power to help you and the rest of Guyana’s women. In fact, I will do one better. I will get the ball rolling – to help cut out all of that damn red tape the PPP seems to love – and present these questions to her for you.
Priya, dear, how are you doing? I wonder if you could be a peach and help me with a situation I have. You see, I have a friend who has asked me some questions that I think you are far better equipped to answer. My friend (and probably several thousand more Guyanese women) would like to know why a Guyanese husband can abuse his wife everyday and get away with it.
She wants to know why the police seem to lose evidence from rape and murder cases. She would also like to know why a father can still chose his daughter’s husband. My friend feels that the PPP has been in power long enough to have this situation under control and just wants some help to form a better life.
Of course, I could ask a million more questions of you on this topic, dear Priya, but I think my friend’s questions are the perfect start. She mentioned in her email, “I want help all this woman. I wish you can do something for all this people, principal muslim woman.”
I know full well what is required of me from my friend – and this column is just the beginning of the fulfilment of my responsibility on this matter. Do you know what is required of you Priya? What will you do to fulfil your responsibility to this woman? You can start by answering her questions. Be assured that we will both be anxiously awaiting your response.
Let me say one more thing to my dear friend. Dear woman, you need to put that fiery spirit and that obvious intelligence to work and start gathering your women friends together to start a grassroots effort to change the status of women in Guyana.
Surely, you do not think the men are going to lift a finger to help women in this regard. If that were going to happen, it would have happened hundreds of years ago.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Stella Says…Here is the real definition of a godly woman
by Stella Ramsaroop
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 04 March 2007)
Since I grew up in a very conservative Christian home, I know how Christianity would define a godly woman. She would submit to her husband, she would meekly obey her husband and she would take care of the kids and the house without complaint. That is what this sub-culture demands.
I am a spiritual woman who struggled with wrapping my mind around the injustices meted out to women based on our holy books. It is bad enough that little girls must hear how evil they are because Eve supposedly ate an apple long ago in a far away place, but it is even worse when normal biological occurrences, like painful labor during birth, is attributed to the “curse” of being a woman.
However, if you ask me, that interpretation of a godly woman is dated and sexist. Therefore, I think it is high time to revise that definition of a godly woman and to make it something that is far more gender equitable.
In the spirit of the new rise of gender equality that is spreading around the world through the UN’s new efforts to help women gain ground in politics, business and education, it can be easily concluded that before any of these other areas experience real change, the first area that must change is religion.
So how would I define a godly woman in the 21st century? First of all, we must explain that, for this article, being “godly” is the act of pleasing our creator. A godly woman is a spiritual person seeking to act in accordance to what her God would require of her.
I do not believe for one second that God would create one person for sole purpose of serving another person. There is no way such an enlightened being’s mind would function like a common human seeking power over others. This being would already have all power. There would be no reason whatsoever to establish one half of creation as superior to the other half – as our current holy books have decreed.
As such, surely the true creator of this world would not require women to degrade and restrict themselves by submitting to such debasing teachings, which are still practiced in the 21st century.
It seems to me that our creator would want both men and women to reach as far as possible intellectually in a joint effort to accomplish the utmost for mankind. Even a mere human such as myself can see the futility in creating something just to stifle that creation’s potential. Surely God is far wiser than I am.
Surely the creator expects both male and female to function at full capacity at all times and to work together without regard to gender by acknowledging the separate strengths of each gender. Indeed, our creator could not expect anything less.
With this in mind, a godly woman would be educated as much as possible, operating at optimum capacity without any social or political restraints to hold her back and would never, never, never submit her will to a man just because he requires it of her.
A godly woman would expect her spouse to equally share household chores if she chose to work outside of the house. She would make sure to help with those chores if she chose to work fulltime outside of the home and the man was the primary caregiver for the children. Likewise, she would require the same in a reversed role.
A godly woman would be quick to speak against sexism and she would never tolerate a man who abused her or her children physically, sexually, emotionally or mentally.
Of course, a godly woman would also gladly help others when it is within her power. She would freely dole out a shrewd mix of compassion and wise counsel.
A godly woman would accomplish as much as she wanted, she would reach as far as she could reach and she would never feel guilty for being successful and intelligent. She owns her own properties, runs her own businesses and manages her own finances if she so chooses.
What is a godly woman? She is the quick-thinking lady who does not shy away from telling fundamentalists that she is her own woman and she refuses to succumb to the dated and sexist teachings.
Surely, this is what our creator really expects of women. In fact, this has to be what our creator expected all along. Anything less would be a sin.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 04 March 2007)
Since I grew up in a very conservative Christian home, I know how Christianity would define a godly woman. She would submit to her husband, she would meekly obey her husband and she would take care of the kids and the house without complaint. That is what this sub-culture demands.
I am a spiritual woman who struggled with wrapping my mind around the injustices meted out to women based on our holy books. It is bad enough that little girls must hear how evil they are because Eve supposedly ate an apple long ago in a far away place, but it is even worse when normal biological occurrences, like painful labor during birth, is attributed to the “curse” of being a woman.
However, if you ask me, that interpretation of a godly woman is dated and sexist. Therefore, I think it is high time to revise that definition of a godly woman and to make it something that is far more gender equitable.
In the spirit of the new rise of gender equality that is spreading around the world through the UN’s new efforts to help women gain ground in politics, business and education, it can be easily concluded that before any of these other areas experience real change, the first area that must change is religion.
So how would I define a godly woman in the 21st century? First of all, we must explain that, for this article, being “godly” is the act of pleasing our creator. A godly woman is a spiritual person seeking to act in accordance to what her God would require of her.
I do not believe for one second that God would create one person for sole purpose of serving another person. There is no way such an enlightened being’s mind would function like a common human seeking power over others. This being would already have all power. There would be no reason whatsoever to establish one half of creation as superior to the other half – as our current holy books have decreed.
As such, surely the true creator of this world would not require women to degrade and restrict themselves by submitting to such debasing teachings, which are still practiced in the 21st century.
It seems to me that our creator would want both men and women to reach as far as possible intellectually in a joint effort to accomplish the utmost for mankind. Even a mere human such as myself can see the futility in creating something just to stifle that creation’s potential. Surely God is far wiser than I am.
Surely the creator expects both male and female to function at full capacity at all times and to work together without regard to gender by acknowledging the separate strengths of each gender. Indeed, our creator could not expect anything less.
With this in mind, a godly woman would be educated as much as possible, operating at optimum capacity without any social or political restraints to hold her back and would never, never, never submit her will to a man just because he requires it of her.
A godly woman would expect her spouse to equally share household chores if she chose to work outside of the house. She would make sure to help with those chores if she chose to work fulltime outside of the home and the man was the primary caregiver for the children. Likewise, she would require the same in a reversed role.
A godly woman would be quick to speak against sexism and she would never tolerate a man who abused her or her children physically, sexually, emotionally or mentally.
Of course, a godly woman would also gladly help others when it is within her power. She would freely dole out a shrewd mix of compassion and wise counsel.
A godly woman would accomplish as much as she wanted, she would reach as far as she could reach and she would never feel guilty for being successful and intelligent. She owns her own properties, runs her own businesses and manages her own finances if she so chooses.
What is a godly woman? She is the quick-thinking lady who does not shy away from telling fundamentalists that she is her own woman and she refuses to succumb to the dated and sexist teachings.
Surely, this is what our creator really expects of women. In fact, this has to be what our creator expected all along. Anything less would be a sin.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Stella Says...Here are some thoughts I had during my sabbatical
by Stella Ramsaroop
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 25 February 2007)
While on my little sabbatical, a well-needed time of reflection and regrouping, I found it difficult to pull myself away from the goings-on in Guyana. This country is never short on drama - that is for sure.
For example, just during my short vacation alone, the President was caught dressed like he was going to a cricket game as he disembarked from a plane for an international event. It seems a refresher course in protocol is in order for this administration.
Also during my sabbatical, GINA pulled all its advertisements from Stabroek News, VAT was instituted (and boy was that drama) and of course I cannot even count the number of women who were killed during that short few weeks. This has also been a time of great preparation for Guyana as it prepares for the World Cup.
Just this past week we saw more preparations underway as Stabroek Market was cleared of vendors, some of whom had been operating in that location for years and years. On the one hand, I do understand the government’s desire to spruce up the city a bit. It is their job to make potential tourists feel welcomed in the country.
On the other hand, speaking as a person who goes out of my way to shop at such places as Stabroek Market in almost every country I have visited, it is sad to see these vendors go. Markets such as these are the life of the country for tourists in Mexico.
In fact, I go to Tijuana for the sole purpose of shopping at its makeshift stands and haggling in Spanish with vendors who always have a “special price” for the gringa with blonde hair.
Even while living in Guatemala and Costa Rica, I would intentionally forego the walled-in supermarkets for the outdoor markets. It was not only the fresh veggies or the hustle and bustle that drew me to these markets - it was the overall experience.
In Panama, I would stop at roadside stands to buy a coconut to drink, a hammock made by the locals or some tiny sweet bananas that cannot be found in America. Which brings me to the point I am attempting to make, the tourists that will soon be flooding into Guyana will also want to buy stuffs that they cannot find in their own countries.
They will want to sample the local cuisine. They will want the experience of the open market stands. They will want to haggle with the vendors and feel like they have got a good deal. On my last trip to Guyana, I haggled with a Rastaman peddling gorgeous woodcarvings on Main Street.
I talked him down despite my blonde hair and the fact that my husband was dressed in a ridiculous purple dress shirt and tie. However, at the end of the transaction I gave him more than what we had settled on just because he was willing to play along with my game and have some fun with me.
That beautiful carving sits in an honoured place in my home and I still love it as much as I did on the day I bought it. Moreover, every time I look at it, I think about that Rastaman and the fun we had. Just like I think about the street peddler in Barbados who sold me some beautiful jewellery after Paul haggled with him.
The experiences of these transactions are part of what makes the items bought a treasure. Which is why it is so sad to think of all of the experiences the tourists will miss with the disappearance of so many vendors in Stabroek Market. I am all for progress, but not at the sacrifice of culture – and Stabroek Market is part of Guyana’s cultural experience.
Moreover, it has been mentioned that these vendors had spent thousands of dollars sprucing up their stands. No doubt they have already bought merchandise for the World Cup visitors as well. This is where I would go to shop if I were coming for the CWC.
During my sabbatical, I have closely followed all of the arrangements being made for the World Cup, such as the preparations to get the stadium ready, the construction of new hospitality facilities and the street cleaning. Even escalators are up and running the country now.
It dawned on me somewhere at the beginning of January that it took the rest of the world coming to Guyana before any of these improvements took place. I cannot help but wonder why none of this was done just for the people of Guyana? Why not clean up the streets for Guyanese?
Why not make Stabroek Market more appealing for the people of Guyana? Why not make all of these improvements as part of the day-to-day activities of running a nation and then the rest of the world can enjoy it too when they visit?
Moreover, what will become of all of this beautification of the nation when the World Cup is over and the only people left to impress are the Guyanese again? Will the government continue to keep everything nice and pretty?
Will the people demand a better way of life – the type of life the government is gladly providing for the visitors to Guyana, but has never given to those who actually live here? It is great that Guyana is working its way into being a potential tourism nation, especially since it has taken decades for the leaders of Guyana to finally do what the rest of the Caribbean has been doing for a long time.
I just think the people of the nation deserved clean streets all along. They had a right to be able to live here without being incessantly terrorised by criminals. They should have been able to expect their government to take care of them the way it is taking care of the complete strangers who will soon be visiting.
Guyana has the capacity of balancing the culture offered by Stabroek Market and the pride of walking down a beautiful clean street – like what I understand Main Street looked like in the old days. The question is whether all of the money spent on beautifying the nation will mysteriously disappear again after the World Cup is gone.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 25 February 2007)
While on my little sabbatical, a well-needed time of reflection and regrouping, I found it difficult to pull myself away from the goings-on in Guyana. This country is never short on drama - that is for sure.
For example, just during my short vacation alone, the President was caught dressed like he was going to a cricket game as he disembarked from a plane for an international event. It seems a refresher course in protocol is in order for this administration.
Also during my sabbatical, GINA pulled all its advertisements from Stabroek News, VAT was instituted (and boy was that drama) and of course I cannot even count the number of women who were killed during that short few weeks. This has also been a time of great preparation for Guyana as it prepares for the World Cup.
Just this past week we saw more preparations underway as Stabroek Market was cleared of vendors, some of whom had been operating in that location for years and years. On the one hand, I do understand the government’s desire to spruce up the city a bit. It is their job to make potential tourists feel welcomed in the country.
On the other hand, speaking as a person who goes out of my way to shop at such places as Stabroek Market in almost every country I have visited, it is sad to see these vendors go. Markets such as these are the life of the country for tourists in Mexico.
In fact, I go to Tijuana for the sole purpose of shopping at its makeshift stands and haggling in Spanish with vendors who always have a “special price” for the gringa with blonde hair.
Even while living in Guatemala and Costa Rica, I would intentionally forego the walled-in supermarkets for the outdoor markets. It was not only the fresh veggies or the hustle and bustle that drew me to these markets - it was the overall experience.
In Panama, I would stop at roadside stands to buy a coconut to drink, a hammock made by the locals or some tiny sweet bananas that cannot be found in America. Which brings me to the point I am attempting to make, the tourists that will soon be flooding into Guyana will also want to buy stuffs that they cannot find in their own countries.
They will want to sample the local cuisine. They will want the experience of the open market stands. They will want to haggle with the vendors and feel like they have got a good deal. On my last trip to Guyana, I haggled with a Rastaman peddling gorgeous woodcarvings on Main Street.
I talked him down despite my blonde hair and the fact that my husband was dressed in a ridiculous purple dress shirt and tie. However, at the end of the transaction I gave him more than what we had settled on just because he was willing to play along with my game and have some fun with me.
That beautiful carving sits in an honoured place in my home and I still love it as much as I did on the day I bought it. Moreover, every time I look at it, I think about that Rastaman and the fun we had. Just like I think about the street peddler in Barbados who sold me some beautiful jewellery after Paul haggled with him.
The experiences of these transactions are part of what makes the items bought a treasure. Which is why it is so sad to think of all of the experiences the tourists will miss with the disappearance of so many vendors in Stabroek Market. I am all for progress, but not at the sacrifice of culture – and Stabroek Market is part of Guyana’s cultural experience.
Moreover, it has been mentioned that these vendors had spent thousands of dollars sprucing up their stands. No doubt they have already bought merchandise for the World Cup visitors as well. This is where I would go to shop if I were coming for the CWC.
During my sabbatical, I have closely followed all of the arrangements being made for the World Cup, such as the preparations to get the stadium ready, the construction of new hospitality facilities and the street cleaning. Even escalators are up and running the country now.
It dawned on me somewhere at the beginning of January that it took the rest of the world coming to Guyana before any of these improvements took place. I cannot help but wonder why none of this was done just for the people of Guyana? Why not clean up the streets for Guyanese?
Why not make Stabroek Market more appealing for the people of Guyana? Why not make all of these improvements as part of the day-to-day activities of running a nation and then the rest of the world can enjoy it too when they visit?
Moreover, what will become of all of this beautification of the nation when the World Cup is over and the only people left to impress are the Guyanese again? Will the government continue to keep everything nice and pretty?
Will the people demand a better way of life – the type of life the government is gladly providing for the visitors to Guyana, but has never given to those who actually live here? It is great that Guyana is working its way into being a potential tourism nation, especially since it has taken decades for the leaders of Guyana to finally do what the rest of the Caribbean has been doing for a long time.
I just think the people of the nation deserved clean streets all along. They had a right to be able to live here without being incessantly terrorised by criminals. They should have been able to expect their government to take care of them the way it is taking care of the complete strangers who will soon be visiting.
Guyana has the capacity of balancing the culture offered by Stabroek Market and the pride of walking down a beautiful clean street – like what I understand Main Street looked like in the old days. The question is whether all of the money spent on beautifying the nation will mysteriously disappear again after the World Cup is gone.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Stella Says…Cheating men had better watch their backs now
by Stella Ramsaroop
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 18 February 2007)
I had a conversation with a male friend recently who commented on the multitude of songs on the charts that talked about women getting revenge on her cheating man.
At the time we were watching Carrie Underwood in her video, “Before He Cheats,” as she thoroughly shredded her boyfriend’s truck out of revenge for his cheating ways. The more intense her revenge, the more the wind blew, windows shattered and streetlights flickered. Truly, hell has no fury like a woman scorned.
This is just one video of the many in mainstream media right now. Beyoncé has a fantastic video by the name of “Irreplaceable,” in which she is tossing her cheating man out for his wicked ways. This video is simply delectable as she sings, “Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.”
I told my friend who commented on this new trend of vengeful songs that for thousands of years women have had to keep their mouths shut as men did whatever they wanted to them. Those days are now long over and women have finally found their voice.
The reason these songs of revenge are at the top of the charts is because women identify with the sentiments of the lyrics. These songs give women the voice they have been denied for centuries. These songs say what every single woman who has ever been unlucky enough to be tied to a cheater has wanted to say.
We could go through all of the pathetic rationales of why a man cheats, but in the end all of those excuses make it seem like we are talking about an animal that has no control over his body rather than a human being. I refuse to stereotype all of manhood into such a small-minded role.
However, my ultimate concern is about those women who fall into tiny little pieces when her man’s attention is swayed to another woman. I have seen plenty of this type of woman too, and my heart breaks every single time I watch a woman lose her mind because her man cannot keep his pants zipped up outside of the house.
The most difficult ones to watch are those who have been married and have children with a cheater. When the light finally comes on for these women, their whole world crumbles as they come to the realisation that their precious family is about to fall apart.
This woman is forced to either turn a blind eye to the cheater’s infidelities – pretending like everything is fine so she can keep her family together - or she has to kick the pathetic fiend out on his keister and hope she can manage the family on her own. Neither path is an easy one.
The promises of love and honour until death ring in her ears like a she is standing two feet from a church bell. On the flip side, if a woman is unfaithful to the man, there are some places even today where she can be killed for the dishonour she brings upon him.
In some countries, there are still genital mutilations to prevent a woman from being sexually aroused, honour killings for women who have affairs (or is raped) and thousands upon thousands of beatings.
Yet everyone turns a blind eye to a cheating husband – after all, he just can’t help himself, right? There is not one woman alive who believes that nonsense. In fact, a cheating man brings immeasurable dishonour upon himself in the sight of all right thinking women.
Recently I spoke with an intelligent and beautiful woman who is but a shell of a person now because she is dealing with a cheater.
She is so depressed that suicide seems like one of the best escapes if it were not for the children involved. I tried to tell her to be strong, but she cannot even think straight right now, much less try to find the strength to consider a whole new future as a single mother.
It would be nice if there were a test to determine if a man is a cheater when he is tested for STDs, then a woman could walk away before her heart is broken and her life shattered.
However, although there is no test yet, there is a new Website for women to get the low down on her man – and to give it too. It is called Don’t Date Him, Girl (www.dontdatehimgirl.com) and any woman can go on this site and tell other women what her man has done to her.
I love to see women start to take their lives back into their own hands. I love to see women band together and take a stand against the ill treatment to which they have had to quietly submit for so long.
The winds are definitely changing in a positive direction for women - finally. It is so exciting to see women finally tell cheating men to hit the road.
Now we just have to deal with those insecure women who willingly subject themselves to the reprehensible position of being “the other woman.” But that is for another column and another day.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
(Originally published in Guyana's Kaieteur News on 18 February 2007)
I had a conversation with a male friend recently who commented on the multitude of songs on the charts that talked about women getting revenge on her cheating man.
At the time we were watching Carrie Underwood in her video, “Before He Cheats,” as she thoroughly shredded her boyfriend’s truck out of revenge for his cheating ways. The more intense her revenge, the more the wind blew, windows shattered and streetlights flickered. Truly, hell has no fury like a woman scorned.
This is just one video of the many in mainstream media right now. Beyoncé has a fantastic video by the name of “Irreplaceable,” in which she is tossing her cheating man out for his wicked ways. This video is simply delectable as she sings, “Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.”
I told my friend who commented on this new trend of vengeful songs that for thousands of years women have had to keep their mouths shut as men did whatever they wanted to them. Those days are now long over and women have finally found their voice.
The reason these songs of revenge are at the top of the charts is because women identify with the sentiments of the lyrics. These songs give women the voice they have been denied for centuries. These songs say what every single woman who has ever been unlucky enough to be tied to a cheater has wanted to say.
We could go through all of the pathetic rationales of why a man cheats, but in the end all of those excuses make it seem like we are talking about an animal that has no control over his body rather than a human being. I refuse to stereotype all of manhood into such a small-minded role.
However, my ultimate concern is about those women who fall into tiny little pieces when her man’s attention is swayed to another woman. I have seen plenty of this type of woman too, and my heart breaks every single time I watch a woman lose her mind because her man cannot keep his pants zipped up outside of the house.
The most difficult ones to watch are those who have been married and have children with a cheater. When the light finally comes on for these women, their whole world crumbles as they come to the realisation that their precious family is about to fall apart.
This woman is forced to either turn a blind eye to the cheater’s infidelities – pretending like everything is fine so she can keep her family together - or she has to kick the pathetic fiend out on his keister and hope she can manage the family on her own. Neither path is an easy one.
The promises of love and honour until death ring in her ears like a she is standing two feet from a church bell. On the flip side, if a woman is unfaithful to the man, there are some places even today where she can be killed for the dishonour she brings upon him.
In some countries, there are still genital mutilations to prevent a woman from being sexually aroused, honour killings for women who have affairs (or is raped) and thousands upon thousands of beatings.
Yet everyone turns a blind eye to a cheating husband – after all, he just can’t help himself, right? There is not one woman alive who believes that nonsense. In fact, a cheating man brings immeasurable dishonour upon himself in the sight of all right thinking women.
Recently I spoke with an intelligent and beautiful woman who is but a shell of a person now because she is dealing with a cheater.
She is so depressed that suicide seems like one of the best escapes if it were not for the children involved. I tried to tell her to be strong, but she cannot even think straight right now, much less try to find the strength to consider a whole new future as a single mother.
It would be nice if there were a test to determine if a man is a cheater when he is tested for STDs, then a woman could walk away before her heart is broken and her life shattered.
However, although there is no test yet, there is a new Website for women to get the low down on her man – and to give it too. It is called Don’t Date Him, Girl (www.dontdatehimgirl.com) and any woman can go on this site and tell other women what her man has done to her.
I love to see women start to take their lives back into their own hands. I love to see women band together and take a stand against the ill treatment to which they have had to quietly submit for so long.
The winds are definitely changing in a positive direction for women - finally. It is so exciting to see women finally tell cheating men to hit the road.
Now we just have to deal with those insecure women who willingly subject themselves to the reprehensible position of being “the other woman.” But that is for another column and another day.
Email: StellaSays[at]gmail.com
Saturday, February 17, 2007
The vacation is over
Be on the look out for my Kaieteur News column tomorrow. I had a nice sabbatical, but it is time to get back to work.
A lot has happened since I started my sabbatical in late December. President Jagdeo was caught dressed like a dufus at an international affair, all government ads were pulled from Stabroek News and I don't want to count all of the women who have been killed or raped in Guyana since my last column.
Also, the stadium is finally ready (albeit, quite past the deadline), Digicel has turned the nation blue and there is an all out effort to clean up the streets in time for the CWC in just a few weeks.
Obviously, it is time to get back to work.
A lot has happened since I started my sabbatical in late December. President Jagdeo was caught dressed like a dufus at an international affair, all government ads were pulled from Stabroek News and I don't want to count all of the women who have been killed or raped in Guyana since my last column.
Also, the stadium is finally ready (albeit, quite past the deadline), Digicel has turned the nation blue and there is an all out effort to clean up the streets in time for the CWC in just a few weeks.
Obviously, it is time to get back to work.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Taking a sabbatical
I have decided to take a sabbatical from my column at Kaieteur News. Guyana is never far from my heart, but I need to focus on some personal endeavours for a while.
I do plan to occasionally post my thoughts on Guyana's political scene and social issues, of which there are many, on this blog during my sabbatical. So check in every once in a while to see what I think about President Jagdeo's atrocious wardrobe decisions or the out of control judicial system that is now trying to silence journalists who point out its wicked, wicked ways.
I do plan to occasionally post my thoughts on Guyana's political scene and social issues, of which there are many, on this blog during my sabbatical. So check in every once in a while to see what I think about President Jagdeo's atrocious wardrobe decisions or the out of control judicial system that is now trying to silence journalists who point out its wicked, wicked ways.
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